


lighthouse

by kenzieluthor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Lena Luthor Needs Therapy, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Sad Lena Luthor, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-19 11:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenzieluthor/pseuds/kenzieluthor
Summary: Soulmate AU.Everyone on earth had a soulmate, the alien settlers included. Anything written upon one soulmate's skin appeared on the other's after both soulmates passed the age of fourteen.However, the universe was particularly cruel to Lena and Kara. While Lena's words made their way to Kara's skin, the words that Kara hopelessly covered herself in never graced Lena's. Lena was left to exist, alone in a world full of people with soulmates, while Kara ached over every word left unanswered. Yes, Lena knew better than to expect someone to love her. And no, Kara didn't feel all that blessed to have a soulmate who wouldn't even respond.Sort of faking-dating as well.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 63
Kudos: 275





	1. signal in the storm

It began on Krypton. The pain of a blade at her side, slicing through skin, just above her hip bone. There was no obvious source. No reasoning. No medical ailments. No proof of anything harming Kara's body as far as Kelex could tell.

It took Kara a month to admit it to her mother, and another month following before she was allowed before the Religious Guild to be purged of her affliction. Every night she had pleaded with Rao to stop the pain, and he had never graced her with mercy. Her head hung low as she knelt in front of the devout, their glowing masks and flowing garbs proving no distraction from the pure agony she felt. 

One acolyte approached, wary of her pain. As they laid their hand on her shoulder, their words were nothing but a whisper. 

“Where does it hurt?”

“Outside of my body. As if my heart is walking around without me as a protective casing.”

The words slipped out of Kara's mouth without any forethought. She knew her pain came from just above her hip, but the acolyte's touch had given her clarity. It was a truth that was not meant for her, as Rao's grace could not be understood so easily. And in that clarity, she was given peace. The pain subsided, becoming nothing but a numb ache. 

And then, all too soon, she had forgotten it was there at all; all too easily replaced with another agony. She would never see her parents again. She had already failed Kal-El, as he would surely arrive on earth, and she would be trapped here, in the phantom zone, forever. Mid heartbeat. Yearning to inhale. Fearing this would never end. Reliving the explosion of her planet over and over again, not even allowed the grace to shut her eyes to let out the tears and block out the void. 

Suddenly she felt foolish that a little pain on her hip had ever paralysed her.

On earth, there was too much pain to remember all the little causes. The constant drone of the world was too loud, hammering in her ears, beating with her heart. Her feet were too heavy on the earth below her as she willed every step to not crack cement. And then there was the pain of her senses overwhelmed as the world bent in an out of her x-ray vision sometimes even through her lead-lined glasses. 

And of course, there was the ache in her chest. Did her heart yearn for her planet, or did she wish she could simply hug someone without breaking them? Did she yearn for the way her father's arms swept her up and lovingly crushed her in his embrace?

∙†∙

It was a magical night in Midvale, as the Danvers sisters sat on a large flat rock overlooking the water, bathed in the light of the lighthouse in the distance. The Danvers family had just returned to Midvale from Kara's University graduation ceremony in National City. Alex quietly nursed a beer as Eliza approached carefully, her hands filled with drinks as she balanced precariously on the slightly slippery surface. She laughed lightly as Kara swiped their iced teas from her adoptive mum with one hand while steadying Eliza with the other hand. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the rippling water, and the soft sounds of the waves washing up on their beach before being swept away again.

“I want you to know how very proud of you I am.”

Eliza's words were always motherly, and the best Kara could have asked for. She had never replaced Alura, and she never would. But there was something special about this family. And while the feeling was still there, the heartache, Eliza made it better. Alex made it better. 

Alex put an arm around Kara, jerking her out of her thoughts. Silently Alex wiped the tears off Kara's face with the sleeve of her flannel shirt, sighing as she pulled Kara in closer.

“They are very proud of you too,” Eliza's fingers intertwined with Kara's as the three of them looked up to the sky, watching the stars as they guided Kara's prayers back to her family.

“Kara?” Alex squinted as she examined Kara's hand, freeing it from Eliza's. “ _Kara_! You have it! There are words on your skin!”

Alex was grin split her face ear to ear as she scrambled around on the rock pulling Kara up with her, crushing her in as tight a hug as a human could muster. 

“Oh Kara,” Eliza's smile was soft and her voice even gentler as she lay a hand on Kara's back. “You have a soulmate, Kara.”

Kara trembled in Alex's arms, eager to pull Eliza in when she edged closer, her tears hot and silent as a sob silently wrecked her body. She had been alone for so long, lost everyone and everything. Getting to earth and finding out that humans got soulmates was gut-wrenching for the Kryptonian who had lost everyone she had ever loved. She never thought she would have someone, not here where she was never meant to be. 

“What did they write? What does it say?” Alex pulled away from Kara, delicately flipping Kara's wrist over as she traced the word on her forearm. 

They seemed rushed, written with a delicate fine tip marker. Perhaps an expensive pen strangely textured pen.

_Mxyzptlk._

Kara wondered, was that her soulmate's name? A pet name? Some sort of clue, or game or strange teaser for Kara.

“I wonder what it means. Maybe that's their name! Maybe they're an alien, like me,” Kara's voice cracked as she smiled wiping away her tears. It was all hitting her at once, most of all how she yearned to hug someone as tight as she possibly could. Perhaps there was hope for her now.

Across the country only moments ago the youngest Luthor rifled desperately through Lionel's desk, searching for a pen. At this point, Lena would have taken any form of writing utensil even if it required her blood to ink the pages. She was desperate as the information she had been looking for teased her on the screen.

All it had taken was hacking into Lionel's personal computer on the night of his funeral. The only time Lena would have ever risked as wildly suicidal as trespassing over a Luthor's property. Lex and Lillian were distracted, and Lena knew that every paper that she shifted out of place would be painfully obvious to the remaining Luthor parent. Lena had to risk it, so much was resting on this discovery.

Buzzing with the energy of her find Lena uncharacteristically uncapped the marker by grasping its cap between her teeth as she rolled up her sleeve. She glanced at the screen as she copied down the strange string of letters that had popped up. 

_Mxyzptlk._

Oh. _Oh no_. Lena panicked as she began to furiously rub at the ink on her skin. She had never meant to mark herself, it had been a mistake. She should have used a piece of paper. It was harder to sneak out, but the risk of it was infinitely better than what she had just done. A spur of the moment, complete and utter mess of a misstep. She had been so caught up in her excitement that her instinct had betrayed her. 

Cursing herself, she frustratedly realised there was nothing she could do about it now. She gave herself a second, all that she needed to regain composure, before she rolled down her sleeve again, and began repositioning the papers back into order. She angled them carefully, placing them exactly as she had found them, delicately lowering a thin strand of a high tech equivalent of fishing wire back over her father's keyboard.

She took one last look around the room, breathing in her father's cologne.

With a hesitant step towards the drinks cart, she poured herself two fingers of scotch before picking up another glass and doing the same. Carefully she placed the second glass on the desk, holding out her own as she had done many a time before with her father. 

“To your good health father."

Her words wished a peace to his soul that she had never known from him. They carried him on with her, as they had every time she had ever risen her glass with him before. 

She could almost see him, picking up the glass as he leant back in his chair. It's not something he did often. It was an action he didn't even spend on power plays. No. Lionel only ever leant back in his chair when he would smile at her, letting go of everything else and simply relaxing. 

He responded to her toast in kind, as he always did. 

“ _To the Luthor legacy_."

His words were but a whisper in her mind, as was the ghost of him that held the glass high and proud. 

Proud of her. His Luthor legacy.

Lena sat gently on the seat opposite his table, eyes on the imposing leather chair in front of her, looking intentionally past the glass that remained full and sat on the table. That's how Lex and Lillian found her, hours later, with her first glass of scotch still not empty. She had always been taught to enjoy it, savour it. And so she did as Lex poured himself a glass of another alcohol, careful to avoid the one their father had always reserved for his daughter.

Lex took the seat beside her as Lillian found herself on the chesterfield behind them. 

“Will this be your office now?” Lena asked, her voice quiet as her eyes never flickered from the leather chair.

“I reckon it will always be his,” Lex's words were assuring. For a second, he was the brother who she loved again. Not that she ever stopped loving him. He was just her Lex in that moment. The one who knew how much this meant to her and wouldn't use it against her. The Lex who would fight for her to have it.

Eventually, Lex and Lillian left, leaving just Lena. 

Acutely aware of every movement, Lena peeked under her sleeve. There was no dramatic moment, save for the gentle slowing of her heart rate as she let herself fall into calm finding no response on her skin, no offending marks. To most, it would have been but torturous to not receive a response, but to her, it only solidified what she already knew. She didn't have a soulmate. Lena was destined to be alone and that's how she told herself she liked it. No one would get hurt this way. 

Over the years Lena found comfort in the ghost of her father that lived in that office, who sat behind that desk. She was grateful that neither Lillian nor Lex had sullied the space. Never moved anything; never changed anything.

Lionel had never been a man in whom to find comfort while he was alive, but Lena supposed he didn't have much choice in the matter now. 

∙†∙

“They're not responding,” Kara's eyebrows furrowed as she defeatedly capped the marker she had covered her other arm in. 

“They might still be reading,” Alex laughed as Kara flipped her arm over desperate to find any empty spot to fill that she could reach.

There were messages of life, laughter and happiness. Small snippets of song lyrics that made her happy, that reminded her of Alex, that reminded her of Krypton. She had let herself get too carried away with scribing all the beautiful words she had collected into the journal that Eliza had gifted her. Oh, how Kara dreamed of having a soulmate. Of writing sweet nothings to them, just as the humans did. Kara was nothing if not a dreamer. She had spent so much time daydreaming about a soulmate, that she had found herself hoarding sweet words in her journal. Fantasizing about scribing them onto her skin instead of the paper. Now she had the chance, to share all the beautiful things she had collected with this mysterious person on the other side of her felt-tipped pen. 

Kara was nearly out of space on her arm reaching all the way around to her shoulder as far as she could go when Alex reminded her to write down her name. 

_I'm Kara. Is your name Mxyzptlk?_

Kara fell asleep with a gentle smile on her face, anxious to receive all the words her soulmate had to give her in return. 

She woke up with no return message. 

Kara knew she could come on a little strong, maybe her soulmate just needed to go a little slower. 

“Did they respond?” Alex pressed a kiss to Kara's forehead as she slid a plate of pancakes over the counter to her sister. 

“Yes,” Kara cleared her throat. She wasn't sure why she would lie to Alex, of all people. Stumbling over the name, Kara kept going, “Mxyzptlk is their name.” 

Kara was not much of a liar, and one lie meant she was already in too deep. 

“I think they might be an alien!” Kara edged on.

Kara hated lying and she hated having to hide the hurt of receiving no response from Alex. 

But how could she stop? Especially when Alex was congratulating her, hugging her. Saying how happy she was that Kara had someone who might understand her better. Alex was being so supportive it broke Kara's heart a little. Alex held her close and assured her that Alex would always be there for her. As much as she wished she could be the person that Kara could relate to, sometimes there has to be more than one important person in your life. 

“Maybe they'll have super strength,” Kara shut her eyes for a second, willing her mouth to just stay shut.

Alex's hand squeezed Kara's shoulder as hard as she could, hoping to convey the comfort to the Kryptonian who would barely feel it as a breath against her shoulder.

“Whoever they are will be right for you in ways only you could ever fully understand.” Alex took Kara's hand as they finished breakfast. “I know you didn't expect this Kara, but you don't have to be alone now, don't you see?”

Kara wished it were that easy. She wished her soulmate would just respond.

“Why did they take so long to write?” Kara looked up at Alex earnestly. “I know I stopped writing very often after I turned sixteen. I just didn't want to get my hopes up in case all aliens didn't get soulmates. But I did keep writing you know, thinking maybe they were only a little bit younger. But this age gap is…”

“Hey, hey,” Alex shot her a look as she sat down with her own plate in front of her. “You're not about to meet them right at this moment, and there's no confirmation that they just turned fourteen! They could have been nervous to write. If they're an alien maybe they just got to earth!”

“Thanks, Alex.” 

“Of course, Kara,” Alex finished up her plate before taking both empty dishes to the sink. “Look, why don't I help you pack up anything you have left here before we drive down to National City tomorrow! I can't believe you're moving out of student residence and into your first apartment! Are you excited?”

“About that Alex, I was thinking maybe I could do the moving in by myself, you know superspeed and all. If I'm going fast enough no one will notice, and honestly, I'd rather do that and get it over and done with than pretend to do it slowly.”

“Just, make sure no one notices alright?” Alex was hesitant, ever the protective sister. 

“No one will notice, I promise!” Kara grinned. 

∙†∙

Two weeks later Kara found herself toying with her sleeve as she came back from work. She wrote down another sentence, a desperate attempt to try and earn a reply from her soulmate.

_I'd love to get to know you. I'm starting to feel as if I'm missing someone I don't even know yet. Is that cheesy? Probably is, ignore me. Anyway, I am anxious to hear back from you. Yours, Kara._

She let herself fall onto the couch exhausted from her day at work. It's not as if the Noonan's was busy enough to keep her this tired, but the small hard mattress that she had was enough to make anyone toss and turn in discomfort. 

What kept her busiest was the deliveries she made. She had signed up for multiple apps, and she used a combination of her speed and flying to make deliveries as quickly as well, alienly possible. Her fast timing served mostly to confuse people, as they attempted to track her through the app, only to find her in front of their doorsteps mere minutes after pickup from the restaurant. Sometimes she would lie and say that the tracker wasn't working because her data was spotty and that she had left the restaurant quite a while ago. Other times she would claim that she forgot to log picking up the food into the app, so by the time the app realized it should put her on the little map she was mostly already to their door. None argued or pried too deeply, and the few that tipped generally would tip better for the fast service. 

Kara wished more than anything that she could just land an interview that wasn't in the service industry. Minimum wage really had a way of keeping her stuck in her shoebox apartment, ravenous at all times, unable to quite keep up with what her diet demanded of her. 

Whenever Alex and Eliza asked, Kara made sure not to burden them. Alex and Kara had been in the same city for quite a while, but with Alex's medical journey and University for Kara, it had been had hard to find time to hang out too often and now they weren't quite used to it. After a few attempts at inviting herself over to Kara's place to see it, Alex had given up, concluding maybe her sister needed a little space. Eliza however, was not as easy to push off. She sent Kara as much as she thought she could get away with, without Kara wordlessly transferring the money back. Eliza had given her many a lecture on pride, but even Kara acutely knew just how much a private investigator cost, and how badly her sister wanted her father back.

Kara let Alex stay in the dark, about the cube apartment she lived in, with its bare unfinished concrete walls, a fridge, a bed that doubled as her sofa and a desk without a chair that she had pulled over to the end of her bed. Not that she needed it, she hadn't written more than a few words here and there for a long time. She winced as the paper-thin walls left her with constant headaches as similarly afflicted people fought loudly, the small space not quite conducive to communal living. At least she didn't have a roommate, in this tight space, she wondered how the people she heard constantly fighting had survived this long. For all their profanities, they were stronger than they realised. 

Sometimes Kara lay awake at night as she watched a pixelated Clark on the tiny flickering screen of her phone, with their house crest displayed proudly as he saved everyone. He had received Lois' words on his skin on time like the perfect all American boy he was. 

Kara's skin lay continuously bare and life continued on until that one fateful night years later that the pixels on the screen made up Clark's crumpled body as Lex Luthor pummeled him to the ground. 

_If you can see this, if you exist, you are loved, and you deserve to be loved._

The words drifted from Lena's skin to Kara's as Lena once again sat in Lionel's office, this time following Lex's arrest. She wrote furiously, aware that no words had ever graced her skin. There was a part of Lena that wished there was someone on the other side, who received her words. She had long given up hope that she would ever receive words of her own, but watching the cuffs snap around Lex's wrist had shaken her. He had been the only person, save for the messed up love she had for her dead father, that she loved. Every moment was unbearable, and every second she wished she had someone else to love. Someone who wasn't a murderer and a violent sociopath.

A small part of Lena wondered whether the words were just for a soulmate that didn't exist, or whether they were what Lena had spent so long wishing would appear on her own skin. 

Everyone got their soulmate, and just because Lena was defective, just because the words would never grace her skin, didn't mean that Lena couldn't have hope. Lena decided to write to this love that she would never have, maybe there was a tiny chance that it was all a big misunderstanding and she did have a soulmate. 

Part of her knew that she was only fooling herself. Even if she somehow, after it all did truly have a soulmate, she would never wish herself upon her worst enemy. Having to love someone, that she was used to. Lena and Lillian had done that dance many a time. Part of Lena was glad that no one was forced to love her. That no marks danced across her skin, the words of a lover that didn't deserve the pain that came with loving a Luthor. 

The pain that she all too keenly felt as Lex, the only person she had left that she felt an ounce of love for, threatened her life from where he was led away just outside the large windows behind Lionel's desk.

The customary two fingers of scotch rested on the desk in front of her, as the other glass was held delicately between her fingers. She tipped her head back this time, downing the whole glass in one go, before standing and placing her glass down a little too aggressively. 

“So much for the Luthor legacy, father."

This time Lena didn't bother with their traditional toast.

∙†∙

Kara shifted over in surprise as the words, so elegantly written appeared on her skin. She bit back a sob as she dropped her phone onto her bed, swinging her feet off the side of her mattress. Too scared to take her eyes off the words, Kara rushed over towards her desk to hold her arm under the small flickering desk lamp, who's semi cracked lightbulb was the only light in the room. Shaky hands took a picture of the words, yearning to memorialise them before the dissipated. 

It was real. She hadn't imagined the first words her soulmate had written, it had really happened. The proof stood in the second instance of her soulmate bond, with the sweetest words she had ever read. It had been so long since that first word had come through, Kara had begun doubting herself entirely. Maybe she had written it on her skin, blacked out and then misinterpreted it as proof of a soulmate. But that clearly wasn't the case. Not if the strangely welcome declaration of love from this person who didn't know her at all, had anything to say about it.

Her fingers clicked furiously on the screen before she stopped hovering just over Alex's contact. A part of Kara wished she had never lied to Alex all those years ago, so she could celebrate with her sister now. 

A notification popped up on Kara's screen, picturing a bloodied Superman. It grounded Kara back to her reality as Kara shut her eyes tight. Kal-El was okay, had survived and Lex Luthor was going to jail for a long time. Kara only wished that her soulmate hadn't chosen today to grace her skin. 

Kara decided she didn't want to tell Alex. She didn't want to drag her into this. What if her soulmate took another few years to write again? 

_We don't know each other yet, and most don't say ‘I love you’ so quickly, but I have a feeling it is already true. I am really happy that you wrote back. Always anxious to hear back from you. Yours, Kara._

Kara finished off her message with a little heart, before laying back on her bed and shutting her eyes, willing herself to drown out the sounds of the city and the commotion that surrounded it. She ignored the calls from Alex and Eliza, her fingers mindlessly typing out assurances that she was okay, and that she was nowhere near Metropolis. 

There was a text from Alex, wishing her luck for her interview the next day. Kara beamed at the thought, happy to let it wash over her. Things were turning around. Tomorrow she had an interview to be Cat Grant's assistant, her soulmate had just written back, and Kal-El was safe. Life was only going up from here.


	2. mismatched flashing patterns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the ways Lena's unintended words affect Kara. And all the ways the universe sets them up for failure when they actually meet.

Kara woke up, the day after Superman nearly died, completely and utterly happy. Her day began, with a heat-visioned hot pocket (or twenty), and a desperate flurry of clothes all atop her bed. 

Kara sent a picture of her options off to Alex before mulling about for a bit, happy to struggle with the window and its sticky hinges as she waited. An all too cute pigeon got the rest of the hot pocket she was barely willing to share before the yelling started from the other side of the walls that scared the poor bird away. At that point, the walls may as well have been made out of cardboard for all the good they did.

"The blue shirt. Always the blue Kara, you know this _,_ " came Alex's voice as Kara picked up her call. A quick breath before Alex continued. “Good luck today, sis.”

“Thanks, Alex,” Kara smiled as she held her phone to her shoulder and buttoned up the long-sleeved shirt. 

“I'm about to drive to work, do you need a ride?” 

Kara could tell Alex was hovering, reminding her a little of Eliza. Further, Alex probably didn't have enough time to drop her off, so Kara was content with gently declining reminding Alex how close Noonan's and CatCo were. She could take the bus she usually took, it was no problem; she assured Alex before they said their goodbyes. 

Of course, it was a problem. There was no direct connection from her tiny place in the outer burrows of National City where the rent was low and the parking was cheaper. Getting downtown, however, meant taking two buses and three subway lines, at least to reach Noonan's. It would have been easier to get a job at a coffee shop closer to her, but then Kara would have to explain why she would work so far from downtown, where she claimed she lived. 

Not that living downtown wasn't affordable. It could be when you had roommates and a manageable appetite. But roommates were not ideal for an alien in hiding, and she hardly needed anyone else commenting on how much she ate. She already got enough shit from her coworkers who didn't understand exactly how their jibes that were meant to be playful were so uncomfortable for Kara. 

No. Kara usually flew to her job. And yes, Kara was painfully aware just how much more Alex would hate hearing that truth over the one where she didn't live the life Alex thought she did. 

Kara got to CatCo quickly enough, and after a whirlwind morning, Kara realised just how much she loved it here. Even better, somehow, in the chaos, Cat Grant liked her. 

Kara knew that Cat likely hadn't given it much thought past the hiring point, and from what she'd heard there was usually a very short road until the quitting point, but Kara was beyond elated and wouldn't let anything stop her. The fact that she spied words peeking out from just below the cuffs of her shirt only hours after the words from the night before had absolutely no bearing on Kara's feeling of being indestructible. Past being actually indestructible, of course. 

She made it through most of her day with little issue, nothing that couldn't be fixed with a little heat-vision at least, before she escaped into the bathroom to check her arm. 

_There's this beautiful old oak tree I love. My father shared it with me when we used to go riding. I wish I could share it with you._

Kara furrowed her eyebrows, a little confused. As happy as Kara was to receive a reply, why didn't they answer her question? Kara bit down hard on the inside of her lip, sitting there on top of the closed lid for a few moments before she realised she didn't care. Whatever her soulmate wanted to give her she would take. 

∙†∙

On the other side of the country, Lena threw back a drink, chugging straight from the bottle. The expensive champagne tasted like nothing at all anymore. Her back was raw from sliding down the side of the oak tree, even with her pullover separating her skin from its bark. 

She had awoken this morning with the sound of more sirens on her doorstep, and she couldn't bear to stick around. No doubt they were there to talk to her. It was easy enough to figure out that she had been the one to call the police when Lex had turned his tirade on Lillian. It was one thing for him to be so filled with anger, but she had never known him for a son who would ever, ever, put his mother in harm's way. Although Lillian and Lena had a unique relationship, she had spent far too long watching what Lionel's love did to her mother. She wasn't about to let Lex become Lionel, not when Lillian - when they all - had just escaped.

Lena's mind wandered to the few people who had been present, hoping that Clark had gotten out safely. The older boy had always been kind to her, and the realisation that she hadn't seen him after everything that happened had her doubling over as bile rose in her throat. 

She sent up a silent prayer that Lex hadn't gone as far as to hurt him. His best friend. 

Family had always been difficult, ever since she lost her mother, but Lena believed in friendship, if only through what she had seen through Clark and Lex growing up. They had always gotten through everything, even to the point that they had both honourably stepped down from courting Lana Lang when it had become apparent that it would come between them. 

She wondered if Clark would visit Lex in jail. Probably not. Lena threw up again as the thought of Clark being dead at Lex's hand rose to the front of her mind again. 

Lena did have her occasional boarding school friends, but the thought of Andrea just made the bile in her throat rise more quickly and sting that little bit more. 

Deciding she didn't want her oak tree to see any more of her spiral, Lena pushed herself up and began walking towards the lake instead. The oak tree remained a tall and comforting presence, as she settled at the edge of the lake, dipping her toes in gently. 

Without really thinking about it too hard, Lena began to write on her skin. 

_There's this beautiful old oak tree I love. My father shared it with me when we used to go riding. I wish I could share it with you._

She sighed as she realised every instance she had ever, for lack of better words, journaled, on her skin, was connected to Lionel. There was no one on the other side to hear her, read her words. Maybe the words were for her father, a way of talking to him. A way of having someone who loved her. 

If she opened up about the way the missing words killed her a little more every day, maybe she would get clarity, even if it was just to the therapist she had long stopped seeing. But then again Lena could painfully remember every moment that Lex suffered publically when he thought he didn't have a soulmate. There was agony beyond anything. But Lena knew her big brother better than anyone. Most of it was the pain of having to suffer in the limelight. The papers wrote about the Luthor who couldn't be loved. It wasn't even unusual for a bit of a wait after the age of fourteen for the writing to appear. It never had to become such a big story in the cruel news cycle, let alone part of the news cycle at all.

Sure enough, when the writing on his skin appeared, the papers lost interest. 

But Lena never wanted to go through that. Telling anyone, even a therapist, wasn't safe. It was one thing to be unlovable. The Luthors preferred it that way. But it was another for you to give the world something to judge you for. Their parents had always treated the lack of words on Lex's arm as insignificant. They seemed oddly proud that Lex would not be tied to anyone. It would give him ‘true free will’ as Lillian had once put it. Of course, they protected Lex, shut down all the media they could and tried to make sure it wasn't all that the papers focused on, but that had more to do with the Luthor name than how Lex had ever felt. 

Lena realised she had never had to hide the fact that she hadn't received a single word on her skin. It seemed as though the Luthors and the media - after Lex's scandal, of course - had just never cared enough, and a part of Lena was grateful for that small mercy. She wondered if they knew. In her head, she was grateful that her big brother had taught her how to hide it, had gone through the pain and found the best ways to change the topic of conversation, and avoid getting interviewed about it before she had to figure it out for herself. 

As her bottle tipped back, finally empty, Lena realised she couldn't hide for much longer. She had to go back and face reality. The last thing she wanted was to be arrested for not cooperating with the police. Unlike Lex, she had no Clark to visit her in jail. 

It was far too risky to ride Nyx back to the stables. She resigned herself to trudging back to the manor alongside the beautiful creature with her shimmering dark coat. It took them the better part of an hour, but Lena found herself considerably more sober by the time the police surrounded her. 

“Hands in the air, Luthor.”

Not Ms Luthor. Not Lena Luthor. Just Luthor. Automatically roped in to her family's crimes and reputation because of a last name. Judging at the guns pointed at her there was certainly no sense of innocent until proven guilty here.

Lena sighed as she let go of the reins of her horse, happy to get her out from behind gunpoint before she raised her hands and began to drop to her knees. 

“I know you'd better have some sort of warrant to be here and be pointing guns at my unarmed and underage daughter, or so help me…"

One look from Lillian and Lena was holding herself up, scared that if her knees touched the ground in front of these officers that she would never hear the end of it from Lillian. The officers too dropped their guns, soon surrounded by the Luthor's security. It turned out they had no warrant and trespassing on private property, no matter the sins of her brother was an easy enough point on which the Luthor lawyers could apply pressure. 

The youngest Luthor was used to this. Lillian was never the protective type until it was an attack on the Luthor name. Lena wondered what Lillian was like before she was a Luthor. She was such the perfect Luthor that Lena had never considered that there was a time before this Lillian. She didn't know her grandparents on Lillian's side, let alone her maiden name, and she had certainly never asked. The Luthors took you in, and that simple act changed every little thing about you. Suddenly you were a different person. A Luthor. 

Looking back at Lillian as Lena pushed past towards her room, Lena laughed to herself. Lillian had probably always been like this. It's probably why Lionel loved her. Had her parents been soulmates? She certainly wouldn't be surprised if they had ignored any marks and simply chosen each other as partners. It wasn't unheard of, and but it didn't make Lena feel any better. 

To be given a soulmate was one thing. To think someone would _choose_ her, let alone in a world filled with people who knew they had perfect matches. Well that was simply foolish. Lena may have been emotional, but she was taught better than to believe something so clearly out of the realm of possibility. 

∙†∙

It took Kara the next few months to really get used to it. The way her soulmate would never truly respond to her questions. They preferred to be vague and had such a special way of letting Kara see the beauty in their layers without really saying anything. It was charming, infuriating and a little heart-wrenching all in one. Kara had spent so much time being lonely, this new form of conversation didn't help her much. She didn't understand how important acknowledgement and response was until she began to receive a message a day from her soulmate, through a frayed, almost one-sided conversation. 

Kara did not want to be judgemental. Whatever her soulmate's conversational style was, they deserved to feel comfortable and share whatever they wished at the pace that they chose. Kara could hardly say that she was much better as a baby alien just beginning to learn the context that shaped the English language past what memorising any dictionary could teach you. 

Their conversation wasn't all bad, though. Kara particularly enjoyed their conversations about a lake that her soulmate loved. It was a quick ride from where they grew up and the words that littered Kara's arms detailing its waters, all viewed from the shade of the old oak tree, made Kara feel so much closer to them. She fondly remembered the view of the water from the Danvers' house in Midvale eagerly writing back with details. But more than anything wished she could share her memories of Krypton. The waters had long since been polluted by the time Kara had been old enough to form memories of the beach, but Kara had still enjoyed the sound of the crystal blue waters of Krypton. Even with a red sun, the sky and waters remained blue, but in Krypton's destruction, they had turned red. 

Kara didn't like that image. She had spent so long, twenty-four years to be exact, yearning to turn away from the vivid image of her red planet crumbling apart, to think about it now. Every time Krypton was pictured in museums and displays, it was always pictured as a completely red planet. While its soil resembled Mars' red hue, it was covered in water that was blue. That water bore life, gave way to the creation of her people, much like earth's evolution. Kara wondered if the red was all Kal-El remembered of it and whether he treasured that memory because even in its destruction it was all he had of his home. 

But no, his home was on earth now, as was Kara's. The only thing the image of an all-red planet achieved was the very clear avoidance of the blonde Kryptonian from the places that were meant to honour her home. 

_I think I'd be a good astronaut. Before I studied journalism, I loved science more than any other field. I looked forward to working with my father in his research. But so much changed since then. The world keeps turning, and we are stuck turning with it._

Kara wrote on her skin as she thought about the possibility of not staying on planet earth forever. She swallowed lightly as she brought her pen back down against her skin, ready to tell her soulmate her biggest secret.

_Maybe I shouldn't be so selfish. After all, I've already been off-planet and visited my fair share of them. There are plenty of humans that yearn for that experience, and I'm just a goofy alien that's already seen it all._

Kara smiled, confident of her decision to tell her soulmate that she was an alien. She hoped she had slipped it in easily enough to their strange conversation. This time her message stood out, she didn't sign off as eager to hear back. Kara wasn't sure whether she'd rather wait for a longer or shorter period of time. It's the same feeling that Kara got when she had her university admissions packet in front of her. Logically she understood the larger packet was most likely a good sign, though in practice that did nothing to stop her procrastinating opening it until Alex and Eliza had cornered her, and had held her through the process. 

Kara sat atop the lighthouse that she had visited so very often to overlook the water as she waited. From this perch, all she could see was the water, and she could just fool herself into believing the rail was an old Kryptonian design, and that the view was the one her father had shared with her. 

The sea stretched on endlessly, just as it had on Krypton. The lights on the horizon could easily be Kryptonian drones if she willed herself to see them that way. The gentle calm was the same, the way the breeze flitted through her hair grounded her, and even the way the light refracted off the small waves made her feel at home. Kara lost herself in the endless blue of the sea, the lighthouse she perched on, illuminating her mind's journey of escape to home. To Krypton.

The Fortress was Kal-El's, and the sea was Kara's. She wondered if she would ever share the lighthouse with her cousin. If he would even understand.

The message that graced her arm this time was surprisingly fitting… a rare occurrence. 

_If you exist_ , _you are a miracle._

It made Kara happy to receive such a message of acceptance so soon after her secret. A small part of Kara wasn't completely sure whether the sweet message was related at all. Her soulmate had a habit of changing topics rather abruptly, and it made her doubt them in moments like this. That doubt made Kara uneasy, but she had to shut her eyes and will herself to not forget. She too had been the strange alien who didn't communicate the way that was expected of her. Yes, her soulmate was taking a much longer time to acclimate than Kara did, but who was Kara to judge? Kara's only job was to love her soulmate, and part of love was falling in love with all the details. 

This message lasted longer than the others had. There was no telling how long it would last, and no way, yet at least, to get rid of the message off the receiver's skin. At that point, some makeup or an extra piece of clothing was probably your best option for more personal messages. 

But Kara liked this message. And she savoured every moment that it graced her skin.

Meanwhile, the youngest Luthor rolled her sleeve back over her forearm as she reached down to pick up the miracle that was Ruby Arias in her arms. She had taken in Sam when she had been kicked out by her mother. Lena wondered if she would ever have a family. If she could find it in herself to be as far removed from her father as possible. There was no risk that she would become Lillian. She would love her child unconditionally, which would separate her from Lillian completely. No. It was Lionel's form of skin steeling love that she couldn't bear to pass on. 

It had scared her to be around Ruby too long, but there was a comforting way that Sam had instructed her through the process even when the young mother had to have been scared herself, which made Lena treasure those moments. 

It would take a miracle for someone to love her. But Lena didn't want to bring a child into this world, into her house, into the life of being a Luthor, just so that she would be loved. And so Lena resigned herself to never having kids. To have them would be too selfish. 

_I don't think kids are part of my future. Would he still be proud of me if I don't carry on his legacy? But what does it matter… a daughter doesn't carry her last name into her marriage._

Lena wrote those words after a few drinks and with a brave heart. Not even legally an adult, yet it was strange to be considering children, but it didn't change the strange sense of adulthood that had long lingered. She lived in her own apartment, with a single mother and her kid, a PhD on the wall, and her second on its way. From the assassination attempts she had experienced ever since she was a child, Lena had always figured life went fast for her, probably because it would end soon. There was no sanity in living with any other expectation, and it had always motivated her to go after exactly what she wanted. 

Kara found herself with her feet dangling over the edge of the CatCo building as she wondered to herself when they had become close enough to talk about their potential future children. Kara was sad that they would have none, she would never force her soulmate, but she was sure that if this was just a matter of being physically able to give birth, that could be fixed. Kara would devote herself to creating the birthing matrix on earth if that's what soulmate wanted. 

Then Kara sat back as she realised what she had just learnt. After so long of not knowing, not that it was important for Kryptonians that were best perhaps described by earth standards as pansexual, she had another special detail about her soulmate. 

Kara held her soulmates gender identity close, with the word daughter ever on her mind. She knew that earth wasn't all that accepting, and even though they were blessed by the universe, same-gendered soulmates didn't have the easiest time. It was sad to see how many people were forced to ignore their soulmate bond, because of an ignorant society. 

Kara sighed. Superman could fix a lot, stop a lot of pain. But could he fix society, would he protect her from those who would hate her for loving the woman on the side of her pen? Would he want to?

It was all backwards, at least to the Kryptonian, who struggled with the reality that this may not be something her earth family accepted. She understood that as a concept; the Danvers had always been accepting. But what was the line? How would she know whether this was a detail that was just too taboo, or whether they would be offended that she hid it from them?

Kara decided there was no possible way Alex wouldn't love her when she found out, so she invited Alex to the incredible apartment she could somehow now afford. 

It's not that her salary paid well enough, but more that it was rent-controlled and the alien that lived here before was still on the lease. It worried Kara that she would be found, kicked out, thrown in jail for impersonation. It had been easy enough to fool the superintendent, thanking her superspeed and some good old-fashioned high school theatre days. It also made it easy that the alien that lived here before her was an old customer from Noonan's who had known she was an alien and confided his secret in her trust as well. When he had to move out, the place became hers, though it was still his name on the lease. Kara knew that the rent would skyrocket since a change of tenancy legally allowed the rent to be increased.

Alex was more than happy to see the place, and it had become a favourite spot for the Danvers sisters quickly. They had begun to get closer, and she had spent so many sister's nights sitting on that couch, catching up on everything that they had missed during med school, a medical internship and the busy hours that came with Alex being a doctor and Kara being well… a hungry alien. 

“I love you for who you are. Even if the universe didn't tell you she is your soulmate, even if you chose each other without all the words on your skin, I would love you.” Alex had pulled Kara in close and let Kara doze off a little with her head on her lap as they watched old black and white movies on the television. 

“I have to tell you something too,” Alex cleared her throat after a while of neither of them really paying attention to the movie on the screen. “My soulmate's name is Kelly, and she's… well, she's wonderful.”

“Oh, Alex,” Kara pulled her sister closer as she sat up to give Alex a proper hug. “I love you, you incredible human. I'm so proud of you, and I'm really happy you have her.”

“I love you too, you silly alien.” the words were whispered against her hair as Kara dozed off. 

∙†∙

“There's a lot of reasons for you to say no. You know I've met my soulmate, Ruby's dad, and I don't know what your soulmate situation is, and whether you'd even consider-”

“Sam,” Lena interrupted a little worried. “What are you talking about?”

“Would you like to go to diner with me? On a date I mean," Sam's lip was held between her teeth, and a small nervous expression made Lena's heart flutter. 

But Lena was even more scared. 

“You should probably know something about me before you genuinely do this-”

“No, Lena. I am genuinely doing this. I know you already, hell you practically helped me raise Ruby. Whatever you have to say I am willing to learn about you. Over dinner perhaps,” Sam was smiling now as her hands steadied Lena, gently resting on her arms. “If this is about my soulmate, then remember what I told you before. I've met him, I've loved him, I decided he wasn't good enough for Ruby, and it doesn't matter what some stupid universal magic tells me or what control it has over my heart, Ruby comes first, and she broke the spell.”

Mention of Ruby made Lena's eyebrows furrow even further in worry. Sensing that she had taken Lena to an even scarier place, Sam's fingers delicately smoothed the worried wrinkles on Lena's forehead, easing Lena into a calm. 

“Okay, let's talk about Ruby. I know you, Luthor. You are _nothing_ like _her,_ ” Sam promised, obviously talking about Lillian.

Sam's assurances were kind if not misplaced. She had always been more worried about becoming Lionel than becoming Lillian. Lena's reliance on his approval - even in his death - made her scared to ever love anyone. 

However, Sam calling her Luthor was a term of endearment. One that snapped Lena out of her head when she was falling too deep in worry about being like them. Somehow Sam saw nothing wrong in Lena being exactly who she was, Luthor and all. Then again, Lena didn't want to talk about her father this soon into this non-relationship, and she didn't exactly want to admit she didn't have a soulmate either. Not when she'd just found someone willing to disregard the whole soulmate system and try with her. She never thought she'd find this. 

“All I was going to say is you're going to have to help me. The last time Ruby and I did something fun I didn't realise building robots and forming our own little fight club would get quite as dangerous as it did. No-one stopped Lex and I when we were children, even when they got out of the lab and scared all our horses half to death. I don't have the best concept of what children enjoy.”

“Don't worry,” Sam's eyes were glimmering with fondness, and the laugh that graced her lips put Lena's heart at ease. “ _Ruby_ loved it. I however would be happy _without_ knives strapped onto my Roomba.”

“I can introduce her to some basic coding next time so eventually she can build her own robot, and so she doesn't have to retrofit preexisting tech. You didn't exactly have the parts,” Lena shrugged. 

“It's not the robot building part I'm worried about,” Sam laughed. “It's the knives."

Sam gave Lena an amused look as Lena gave her a sheepish smile.

Letting the silence hang comfortably between them for a second, Lena took a deep breath and trailed her hand down Sam's arm to take her hand. “It's a yes. To dinner, that is,” she said as their fingers intertwined.

The smile she was met with had Lena forgetting to write on her skin for an entire week. 

It was a while later when she drew an owl on her skin with Ruby. The girl loved the strange birds, that Lena realised just how long it had been. 

“We'll draw it for mummy,” Ruby said as she held out the pen for Lena to copy the little owl onto her own skin.

They hadn't hidden the fact that they weren't soulmates from Ruby, opting for honesty even if Ruby didn't fully understand, hoping that if she had questions, she'd come to them. 

“It'll stay only my skin, darling," Lena pressed a kiss to Ruby's hairline. “But the fact that its from you makes it just as special. If your mummy agrees we can do some arts and crafts on her next time, eh little troublemaker?”

Ruby and Lena laughed as Lena tickled a squirming Ruby.

“Okay, what story?” Lena asked as Ruby was eventually deposited onto her bed and swiftly tucked under her covers. Lena couldn't lie and say this is what she expected to be doing at age twenty-two, but then again neither was running LuthorCorp.

“The one about the owl!”

“Again?”

“Yes!"

Lena simply shrugged as she pulled out the book of Greek myths for children that had been her contribution to Ruby's book collection. She gently shifted Ruby over before settling down beside her and pulling the girl closer. Ruby snuggled in, using Lena as a pillow as she began to drift off. 

Reading Ruby her bedtime story always reminded Lena of Lionel. She let her finger delicately skim the inscription on the title page, scribed in her father's handwriting, before flipping the page and starting the story. 

∙†∙

The night Alex's plane crashed into the river, Kara had never wished so hard that she would just run into her soulmate already. She needed someone to talk to. Someone who understood. 

From the strange conversation, and the way it hopped around so easily, to the strangely formal tone of the writing made Kara think the universe matched with an alien, or at least a non-native English speaker. But there was something in how this person connected to Kara, that had Kara at an alien bar every night she could stand, desperate to up her chances to bump into her soulmate. 

It was somewhat pointless. Many theorised that the universe brought soulmates together when it was right for them. Mathematicians, however, argued that it couldn't hurt to put yourself out there more. Statistics still existed, and the universe and its magical wasn't a variable they understood, let alone one they could use in computation. In this mood, Kara was more inclined to agree with the mathematicians. 

_I've been hoping I run into you soon. So many people around me are starting to find their soulmates, and it hurts to have to go another day without knowing you. How do people do this? How do they stay sane? Always anxious to hear from you. Yours, Kara._

The only response Kara received was a small drawing of an owl. Kara was getting the feeling that she didn't know all that much about her soulmate, apart from the fact that her name was _maybe_ Mxyzptlk. But if she knew her, just a little, the owl was probably just a small way to cheer Kara up. 

Honestly, now that she thought about it, if her soulmate had sent her that exact message, what would her answer be? And what would make her answer the correct one, over what her soulmate sent? 

Kara had become Supergirl by the time she realised this really couldn't keep going as it was. She couldn't deny that people communicated differently, and what one person needed or wanted wasn't always what the other could provide. But it was getting to be too much. 

Kara wanted so badly to love, to touch, to hug as hard as she possibly could. That year Kara's sentences became shorter, and the time between them grew longer. Kara found herself busier than ever, and apparently, her soulmate was busy as well. The responses came mostly in tiny doodles, mostly repeats of that same little owl from before. Kara wasn't sure who had begun the steady decline in their communication, but it was happening whether she liked it or not, and she was just as much a part of it as her soulmate was.

Then the day came when Supergirl was out and about, getting pummelled into the concrete, and tossed like a rag doll to free fall into her city. 

“Supergirl! _Kara_!” Alex's desperate voice crackled through Kara's earpiece. “Kara, cover your hand! Right now!”

Kara looked down to see it. A couple of words, a fun fact about the behaviour of neutrinos that Kara was sure wasn't even meant for her. It seemed small, innocent, but the reality hit Kara just as camera flashes began to blind Kara. Squeezing her fist shut, Kara sped out of there with every last remaining bit of energy she could muster, desperate to blur the words before the cameras could zoom in on them. 

Her soulmates exact words were never captured in high resolution by the papers, but the presence of the words sure was. Kara was beyond scared. The words had put everything at risk, everyone she had ever loved or cared about. If anyone made the connection between Kara and Supergirl, Alex would be at risk, Eliza, J'onn, Winn, James, even Kelly, who was bound to run into Alex at any moment. 

_I'm sorry this next message is more of a serious conversation than we've had before. I am asking you please don't write on your hand, anything below the wrist is fine. I promise I cherish all your words, but I need to make sure my family is safe. You see, I'm Supergirl and I'm sorry I didn't say that in so many words before. I've said so much about Krypton and growing up there, I just assumed you'd know by now. But I also know you have a unique style of communication, and perhaps all my words didn't piece together for you. I can't and don't blame you for that, my love, but I can promise to speak more plainly from now. Please don't write above my wrist, on my hand. The world may see your beautiful words mirrored on both Supergirl and Kara Danvers and figure out my secret identity. It would put my family at risk. All the people who are related to Kara Danvers become targets for those who hate Supergirl. Please help me protect my family. Our family, considering I will always consider you part of mine. Yours, Kara._

Kara played with her sleeve, eager to get out of bed, but the DEO had kept her on bed rest, at least until the marks faded. She wanted to stay until she had gotten a response from her soulmate. Acknowledgement and a promise to never do it again.

Kara tuned into Alex's heartbeat as she lay under the sun lamps, letting the constant, hyper familiar rhythm lull her into a gentle sleep. 

“She's out cold mum, I'll let you know when she wakes up,” Alex's voice cut through Kara's calm, and Kara immediately zoned in on the conversation, careful to control her hearing, as warped in and out of focus with her solar flare.

Chewing the inside of her lip, Kara felt responsible for the Eliza having to make the trek all the way out to National City. She could hear her adoptive mum's heart beating a little faster than was familiar. Eliza was such the doting mother, and it made Kara's heart yearn all the more for any way she could protect her.

“Alex, I know you have a medical degree and I may be overstepping here-”

“No, mum if you have a recommendation please tell me. You know I value your advice and the DEO would be lucky to have you consult.”

“Kara might get her powers from the sun, but it's not where her energy comes from. She still needs food, water, air. She had the same process for basic respiration as we do, and she's not passed out right now because of her lack of sunlight.”

“We have her on an IV, we've got that covered.”

“Alex, dear,” Eliza sighed. “What I meant to say is that Kara may be suffering from not having enough to eat to be using her powers as much as she is. Growing up, she only used her powers sometimes, and her required caloric intake was through the roof, now-”

“Mum, you don't need to lecture me on Kara's eating habits,” Alex huffed a little annoyed as her tablet got placed down on the workbench. “Look, I know you and dad relied on me to be her protector when we were growing up but this is hardly a DEO matter maybe we should leave it for when we get home" Alex tried to change the subject as she passed Eliza a glass of water. Seeing a strange look cross her mother's face, Alex sighed and took a seat beside her. “Look,” Alex started. “Kara loves to eat. If she doesn't realise, she needs to eat more, I can let her know when she wakes, up and I assure you she'll be happy about the recommendation.”

“I'm not talking to you about this as her sister, Alex, this is about the DEO and her paycheck. I wouldn't have come to you, dragged you into all of this from your childhood if I had seen another way,” Eliza pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look, I know that your dad and I may have put a lot of responsibility about Kara on your shoulders, but this is a DEO matter. Supergirl doesn't earn enough to feed her appetite. And her counterpart, Kara Danvers, doesn't make enough to cover it either. If the DEO expects to put my daughter in danger, the least I can expect is for my other daughter to advocate for what Kara deserves.”

“What do you mean, she can't afford it? She's never talked to me about this,” Alex's voice was hesitant. “Of course I'll talk to J'onn and see what we can do but mum, why hasn't she said anything she knows she can tell me anything.”

“She's going through a lot right now, there's hardly a right answer on how to process being a hero, and you're not expected to be her therapist. As much responsibility for her weighs on you, it's always affected her too.”

“I've always hated the ‘she’s going through a lot’ sentiment. Makes me feel like there's nothing I could go through that could be as important. Like I'll always be stuck on this side doing my duty to her, but always holding it against her. I don't want to hold it against her,” Alex's head fell against her mother's shoulders as her fists clenched. Her voice was a little quieter when she spoke again. “How do I stop?”

“There's no easy answer. There's no healthy way to have a relationship where you rely so closely on each other for work, let alone for life and death situations, that doesn't require communication. If you're not ready to speak to Kara, maybe speaking to someone else is a good option. Honey, seeing a professional is not a bad thing, and if you're willing to take that step, I'll be here for you through it all.”

Kara scrunched her eyes shut, willing herself to drown out the rest of their conversation. Opening up to Alex was more difficult than it should be because Alex had her own life to juggle, her own things to deal with. A part of Kara was glad she would never have to admit what Eliza had brought to light to Alex, but the other part of her wished she could just disappear and find a universe where Alex wasn't part of the DEO. Kara had to admit it to herself, Alex and Kara were always going to be intertwined in their destinies. Such was the nature of loving your family so much it hurt. 

She was always going to need Alex to protect her as much as she wished it wasn't true, and Alex was always going to struggle with finding her own identity under the shadow of Supergirl. 

As Kara's eyes shut, she wondered if Supergirl was worth all the fuss. The more powerful the hero, the more motivated the villain to be strong enough to take them on. The violence only begot more violence, and the non-response from her soulmate, paired with Alex's aching heart and the inherent threat that still lingered over all the people that Kara loved made her really doubt Supergirl.

When Kara woke up, none of that was true anymore. Sitting just on the inside of her left palm, in plain view above the cutoff of her Supergirl suit, was a drawing of an owl. 

It was the last straw, the middle finger to all of Kara's attempts at being understanding the night before. No. No one could do this, treat her, and her family like this. Communication style and universal magic be damned. Kara didn't care if this person was her soulmate or not, her soulmate had ignored her pleading and that stupid little owl mocked Kara's stupidity. Kara wished she could scrub it off but soon decided that the smartest thing to do is if Supergirl started wearing gloves and pants, hoping that her soulmate wouldn't resort to writing words on Kara's face. 

It was truly the final straw and Kara was done caring. For the first time, Kara wished her soulmate would stay away forever, that she would stop writing for good. Kara had long given up on the magic of soulmates by the time she met Lena, and the words between them had long faded. Not that Kara truly knew who was standing before her when they first met. There was a connection, a draw to Lena, that Kara couldn't explain. 

No, Kara was dating Mon-El, not sure whether or not she wished his words would match hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos 💙 You truly made my week! I have been in a really emotional mood, and I'm glad you're on this moody journey with me 😂  
> 2\. I am very sorry this ended up 7,000 words 😅 I tried to control myself but it didn't work. My average is normally 4,000 so expect that more often.  
> 3\. If anyone wants a sneak peek while I write in exchange for some beta-ing, mostly to tell me if it's boring or not and sometimes for spelling questions since Grammarly/ProWritingAid does the biggest chunk of the work, pm me on Twitter! @KenzieLuthor


	3. a woman's job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologise for how this is more happy and bittersweet happy than it is pure angst? oof, I'm sorry.  
> Some Lena & Sam because I can be cruel and they are so cute, but basically Supergirl Season 2, Episode 5 "Crossfire". I love characterisation, and hopefully we can keep it incorporated as the story picks up and Lena and Kara begin to interact.

Lena had just gotten in from the world's worst business trip. As soon as she had landed in Metropolis, she had planned to get her driver to take her straight to the office, but had been pleasantly surprised when she found Sam waiting for her instead. Sam wore a cheeky smile, and what looked like her regular driver's chauffeur cap and blazer as she charmingly leaned up against the side of the couple's favourite Tesla.

“Ms Luthor,” Sam grinned as she held out a sign, clearly made by Ruby, that made Lena laugh out loud. There were glitter globs, a sticker of a blue and white football, and the customary small owls all over an otherwise professional looking sign. “Don't be alarmed, I stole your car from your driver, and well… maybe part of his uniform too. _But_ it means I get to pick this gorgeous woman up and he gets some vacation hours, so who is it really harming if I look _incredible_ in this chauffeur cap?”

Quickly bounding over to her partner, Lena's arms were around Sam as the taller woman swooped down to kiss her. Smiling against the kiss, the pair stood in each other's arms for an obnoxiously long time, despite the honking and general frustration of those around them. 

“Do you normally greet your driver like that?” Sam narrowed her eyes playfully at Lena. 

“The _really_ pretty ones get a lot more than just a kiss,” Lena gave Sam a smouldering look, before reaching up to pull the taller woman into another kiss. “But you'll have to settle for this right now unless you want me to jump you in front of everyone.” Lena pulled Sam by her tie closer to where their lips were barely grazing. “ _Never_ give this uniform back.” 

Pulling out of Lena's arms, Sam opened the door for the shorter woman, making a show out of her chivalry. Soon enough they strapped themselves into the car, before Lena looked over at Sam fondly. 

“Home then?”

Lena chewed the inside of her lip a little guilty. “I… have to get to work. Sam, thank you so much for coming to pick me up, it means the world to me. But I'll catch a cab to the office. You go be with Ruby, I'll see you at home.” 

Sam silently picked up Lena's hand, bringing it to her lips as she smiled. “It's okay. Ruby is at a sleepover with the neighbours today. I'm here for you.”

“Are you sure?”

Sam simply smiled and put the car into drive, happy to show Lena that it wasn't an issue at all. 

They were happy. Lena, Sam and Ruby had become their own little family, and it was messy, but it was working. Lena liked the way she cared. She did everything in her power to be home in time to read Ruby a story. She may not always be there for dinner, or even for dessert, but she made sure she shared with Ruby what Lionel had given her. A love for stories, for learning and a passion to change things. It made it easy that Sam understood. They both had very similar jobs, and while Lena's took a little more time, most of her long nights were spent making sure Sam could get home to her daughter in time. It wasn't lost on Sam just how much effort the other woman put in making sure that Ruby and Sam were happy, and Sam was content in letting Lena take care of them, just as long as the woman let Sam do the same in return. 

Being home for bedtime stories was the one rule they had, even if Lena needed to rush back to the office right after. Sam made sure Lena came back home at all, that Lena was always fed, always happy, always loved. If Lena couldn't make it to dinner, there was always some packed into her fridge at the office. Sam always left a light on for when Lena did make it home. That simple light made Lena feel things she couldn't possibly explain. Like someone expected her to come back, like this was home. Like they saw her when she was here and missed when she was gone. 

It made her remember leaving the foyer light on when she wished Lionel would come home. She had never gotten in trouble for it, after all it didn't even dent their electricity bill and the Luthors weren't the environmentally aware type. Lionel had always turned off the light and known to come up to say goodnight when he saw the light on. There was always an apology present or two that Lena couldn't care less about. 

It felt strange to have someone that would leave the light on for her.

When Lena got to spend time with Sam, the pair always ended up on a balcony spending time with each other. There was so much wealth around them, they hardly had need for a fancy restaurant and the thrills of the city. Not when they had five star chefs in the house, and all the amenities they could ever need, and no time to use it all. 

The pair loved their balcony overlooking the city. They spent the most time lovingly watching grow back after Lex's attack. Sam loved Lena through every moment of guilt that hung over Lena. 

“I've started the tests,” Lena broke the silence one night as they sat on the balcony, enjoying the city alive below them even at this late hour at night. 

Sam looked over at Lena, as she reached into the fridge they'd bought for the balcony, a strange addition, but a necessary one for the two of them. Pulling out two beers, Sam offered one to Lena, who leaned over and popped it open on the railing. 

“This is a really expensive balcony,” Sam smirked as she watched Lena revert to their college days without a bottle opener for a second.

Lena simply shrugged, clearly in a mood Sam wasn't in the head-space to figure out. 

“Are you going to ask about it?” Lena's voice was quiet after the pair spent some time wordlessly nursing their drinks.

It was Sam's turn to shrug. “If there's anything I should know as your COO…”

Lena shook her head. “It's not official. It can't be. The moment people realise a Luthor is running experiments on the soulmate system, they're first reaction will be to think I'm on a quest to take _true love_ away from them. Lex has murdered countless people, but he's never done that.”

“So its all coming out of pocket?” Sam looked over, a little concerned.

Lena ran her finger over the lip of her bottle. “You and Ruby will be taken care of, don't worry. I own a lot of property. Even if I go broke, we can pick one of my many farms and settle down. Work the land, live off of what we make.”

“I can't imagine you ‘living off the land’ or going broke,” Sam nearly snorted at the thought, leaning into Lena's strange sense of humour and curious train of thought.

“For the record, we won't go broke,” Lena looked over at Sam as if to make sure Sam understood she had been joking, but perhaps it was to reassure Sam that Lena would always be her safety net.

“Yes, _Luthor_ , it would take a lot more than one project to rid you of all the blood money,” Sam sent Lena a good-natured look, trying to convey that she was in on the joke. 

They settled back into their chairs after another shared look between them. 

It took them a little while longer before Lena broke the silence again. “I'd like to also have on the record, that as an Irishwoman I could probably grow a potato or two.”

“Yeah, right. Now that's something I'd like to see!” was all Sam got out before a pillow from Lena's couch hit her. 

“I'll have you know I raised a succulent for almost a year! His name was Leo Luthor!”

“He was a fake plant! I got him for you!”

“Really!?” Lena's face was flush as this time her legs swung off her chair so she could face Sam. “I used to water him religiously! How did a _fake_ potted plant look _dead_ after a year!?”

That was too much for Sam, who doubled over laughing. “You managed to kill a _fake_ potted plant? I've got to give it to you that is certainly an accomplishment.”

That only resulted in another pillow hitting Sam straight in the face. As Sam leaned back on impact, Lena barrelled over, clearly having run out of pillows as ammunition. Grinning, Sam put her arms around Lena to lessen the pillow attack and pulled her in, making the Luthor lose balance and end up snuggled in Sam's arms. A lot of laughter and play-fighting later, Lena tucked her head under Sam's chin and sighed contently.

“Leo aside… you take good care of us, Lena.”

“You take good care of me too.”

∙†∙

The next year, Lena found herself alone, starting over in National City. 

Lena watched as Clark Kent and Kara Danvers walked out of her office. She let herself fall back into her office chair as she warily eyed her screen. There were so many people in this city, who believed she was the one behind the explosion on The Venture, Lena could hardly let herself think about the fact that she might have died on that spaceship. She stared at her phone, fingers hovering over Sam's contact before she chucked it across the couch, and reached for a bottle of scotch instead. 

The couple hadn't broken up; they were pretending like long distance worked. Everything had fallen into a new normal. Sam would gently scold her for staying in too long, because apparently all her employees were traitors and completely loyal to Sam. Ruby would tell Lena how much she missed her over more and more infrequent late night calls and bedtime stories. Sometimes Lena felt like Lionel. Sitting behind her desk at L-Corp calling Ruby but not in the mood to hear how much the young girl missed her. It wasn't fair to Ruby, but Lena hated the way she had been in the same situation with her father when she was Ruby's age. Lena wished there was another option, another choice. 

But the harsh reality was that Lex had found almost found out about Sam and it scared Sam nearly half to death. Lena had caught the spy, a personal assistant that had long been fired and compensated (bribed) for their discretion. But there was no telling how long the information would remain secret. After all, no matter how much money Lena offered, Lex's methods would always win. 

Sam had shut off for a while and had almost left with Ruby. Lena had begged with everything she could, and Sam had promised that she wasn't leaving Lena. 

But they couldn't keep living together either. Since Lex finding out was just a matter of time, Lena needed to put as much space between her and the Arias women for plausible deniability. She'd given her COO everything but the R&D department. Lena did own half of Metropolis and so much was still there; from her factories to labs and countless employees. It was all Sam's now. The more that the couple drifted apart, the more Lena wished Sam was a shallow woman. That all the wealth Lena had could somehow fool Sam into not leaving her. But Lena could hardly blame the woman for fearing Lex, for wanting to protect her child, someone Lena cared so deeply about as well. 

Lex had spent too long in his cell on Stryker's Island with nothing to do to have forgotten about Lena. Lena's memories of Lex from childhood were so happy and full of love, and that's exactly what Lex thrived on. There was no sudden day when Lex had changed into someone different who no longer loved Lena. He had always and would always love her, but in the twisted way that came with being Lex. Lena, for the first time in her life one step behind, didn't realise until too late that her childhood happiness was a strategic move in his game.

The pair of them had grown up as the happiest of siblings because it was Lex's way of teaching Lena chess. Real chess. Where life made up the board and Lena found herself a pawn in Lex's army. His kindness, his care and his protection all came with a price. He had always wanted to control her. Lena had always wondered how much of Lex's love was true, such was the nature of his game. Lena wouldn't discount Lex and discredit the gut feeling that he enjoyed Lena's struggle with the reality that perhaps none of her childhood had been real at all. 

Worst of all, her happiness was never hers and would never be hers. It would always his.

Lena couldn't let that ever touch Sam and Ruby. The youngest Luthor took the best from her R&D department, the rights to the headquarters, and bought a single building in National City ready to start over. 

Lena was lonely in National City. Loving Sam and being with her had briefly stopped the urge to write on her skin. She had quickly realised that she had been writing to herself. Without someone to hear, all the words of love came from somewhere. When she wrote about Lionel, it was her way of keeping him with her. When she wrote about love, life, her plans for the future; it was Lena's way of loving herself. With Sam, she didn't need to fall to such measures, and now with such distance between them Lena wasn't sure anymore. Lena didn't need anyone to tell her she was loved, or beautiful, and she certainly didn't need to fool herself into believing that's exactly what she was trying to do by writing on her own skin. 

There were no words left, no drawings left, just a strange new craving for a goal. And all she really wanted to do was rid the world of Lex's hate. She wasn't about to invent revivification and bringing back Lionel. No, she'd have to settle for saving Lex like she always did, because that was the only real way to save the world from him.

∙†∙

It took Lena a while; a couple of assassination attempts, a rescue from Supergirl herself and an article by one Kara Danvers, before Lena realised that Kara Danvers was becoming a friend.

Most sane people wouldn't count someone who had tried to write a scathing review on your attempts to do good in the world, a friend, but Lena knew to look past that nonsense. Who she had in front of her was someone who could admit that there was a middle ground and that things weren't as black and white as they seemed. It was so refreshing. No yes men, no gold diggers, and certainly no secret spies from her family. 

As Kara sat on the couch across from Lena, fiddling with her glasses and admitting that she changed her point of view, Lena slipped for a second. 

What was the harm in getting to know Kara a little better?

It was a week before Lena found herself in the CatCo elevator, willing her jaw to unclench and easing her fingers from the fists they had created. She was nervous, and she was never one to fidget. Her jaw took most of the abuse when she was stressed. 

“Lena!” Kara caught her eye across the room, smiling widely enough to prompt Lena to return a soft look. “Surprise visit to CatCo?”

“No, I'm…” Lena's gaze dropped as she blushed lightly. Lord, how was she going to get through this? “I'm here to see you, actually.”

“You are?”

Deep breaths Luthor.

“Yeah. L-Corp is hosting a party this weekend. It's a gala fundraiser for the Children's Hospital after that horrific attack on their new building. I was hoping you'd come.”

“Gala? Is that like a party?” Mon-El piped in from behind Kara. 

“No. No, it's not,” Kara interrupted, confusing Lena a little.

Lena titled her head to the side, gently biting her lip, urging her blush not to spread as the next words slipped out from between her lips. “You are literally my only friend in National City. Most people wouldn't touch a Luthor with a ten-foot pole. It would mean a lot to me if you were there.”

“Of course I'll come, I'm-” Kara smiled. “I'm honoured.”

“I love parties. Can I come too?” Mon-El piped in again. 

Kara immediately tried to stop Mon-El, but Lena realised how awkward a position he had put them in. Graciously extending the invite to him as well, she took her to leave.

As she walked out of the office, Lena kicked herself. The blushing, the lip biting and the personal invitation all felt like a lot more than it should have. Lena had the urge to take a long shower and was whatever that interaction was before she called Sam and apologised profusely. 

Lena did call Sam, who annoyingly completely understood to the point of poking fun at her. Sam joked about Lena being so nervous to even have a friend, but made sure that Lena understood that Sam was happy she was making friends. A part of Lena wished Sam would be upset, jealous, or anything else in that moment apart from the overly understanding person she actually was. 

Lena and Sam both knew why Lena was apologising. The pair of them were growing more and more distant, but neither of them were ready to give it all up just yet. They were both caught holding on desperately as Lena attempted to fend off a certain blonde reporter from breaking down all her walls too quickly.

There was a strange draw to Kara. Every meeting, interview and even coffee hangout in her office made her feel a little less lonely. The reporter had become an oddly necessary part of her life here. 

∙†∙

Lena picked up the pen for the first time in a long time. It was an L-Corp design that made it easy to wipe off when needed and didn't cause irritation or adverse reaction. 

_I love you._ Lena wrote on the inside of her palm. She watched quietly as the words stayed stubbornly in place. There were no hard and fast rules. Sometimes you could erase them with ease given the right marker, sometimes they would drift away and other times they wouldn’t leave even with the strongest of chemicals.

It was all stupid universe magic, but there was no magic for Lena. Lena had always been able to wipe it right off just as she did now, not eager to face questions on a non-existent soulmate right at this moment. It was hardly more than habit at this point, no real thought to the process. Sometimes when she was younger, especially at boarding school, she would leave the marker stained on her skin, pretending that someone else wrote the words just so that people wouldn’t whisper quite as much. No need for more rumours about the truly unlovable Luthor. 

After all the actual villains in her family, she was the one who couldn’t ever be loved. Not the way she so desperately craved.

Lena sighed as she re-capped the pen and placed it down on her desk. In front of her was the device that she had built to combat the alien weapons that were currently terrorising National City. They had been behind her assassination attempts when she first moved to National City, and Lena doubted they would pass up an attempt to attack her again. This gala was her shot, her one chance to lure them somewhere where she could neutralise that threat. 

The words she had just wiped off her skin weren't particularly for a soulmate she made up in her head. It may have started as an indulgence in some fantasy that she was loved, but her words had quickly become a bridge to Lionel. This was almost a goodbye. 

Lena contacted Supergirl through Kara, relieved when the hero agreed to attend and protect the party. But there was no guarantee that no one would be harmed. Lena wasn't particularly suicidal, she had more good to do in this world, which meant she needed to stay alive. No, this wasn't some self sacrificing incredible moment. Lena wanted this to work, and she knew she was smart enough to make it work. The key was understanding that there was an inherent risk with the plan. Her usual process involved studying her subjects, but in this case there was no way she could get her hands on the weapons to make sure her device would work. Her methods were purely theoretical, and Lena may not have been suicidal, but she wasn't stupid either. 

Saying goodbye was necessary… just in case. And the only person she had left to say goodbye to was the Lionel she kept tethered to her through the words she wrote on her skin.

∙†∙

The gala had gone off without a hitch. Well, at least without a hitch in Lena's plans. They had saved the gala! As predicted, the men with the alien weapons had attacked the event, leaving Lena little time to adjust the parameters on her device. Soon enough, with a little help from Winn, Lena had truly done something good. For once, a Luthor had saved the day. 

Not to mention Kara was acting particularly strange, saying things like “golly” that really made her all the more charming in Lena's eyes.

“Supergirl! Supergirl!” came the cries of reporters as Kara fought to tear her blushing gaze away from Lena and Winn. The pair emerged sheepishly from under the stage, dusting themselves off as they nervously denied any inappropriate behaviour. 

“Supergirl! Did you know they were coming? Did you purposefully set this gala up as a trap?”

“Supergirl! Where did they get the weaponry and is it all destroyed now?”

Lena was stuck in her spot, eyes glued to Supergirl's gaze. Supergirl looked so _proud_.

“Supergirl! How did you stop them?”

That cut Kara out of her momentary daze as a grin spread across her face. “I didn't stop them. I _may_ have helped, but Ms Luthor over here…” Kara offered a hand to Lena, helping her onstage. “Well, she was the genius behind this.”

“Well, Winn. _Winn_ helped too,” Lena brushed off as she tried to control her grin. She was preening under the compliments, very aware of just how much the press was eating it up. 

Kara watched as Lena turned quickly enough to the press, slipping back into the ever perfect image of poise and professionalism. There was a friendly air about the CEO. She answered questions politely, with a smile and a bit of a no nonsense tone at times. 

Kara didn't even realise she had been staring until a reporter cut her out of her daze. 

“Supergirl! It's so nice that your soulmate wrote to you! What do their words say?” 

It seemed like in a split second all the reporters picked up on that line of questioning, adding on until it reached the inevitable destination of: “Supergirl! Who is your soulmate?”

Kara's eyes snapped away from Lena as she found the reporter in the crowd. It had certainly been a while since anyone had asked her, since that unfortunate incident last year when she had started wearing gloves as part of her suit. Looking warily down at her hands, Kara flipped over her palms to see her gloves missing, something she hadn't even realised in the midst of the fight. 

_I love you._ The words taunted her. Her soulmate always seemed to know exactly how to piss Kara off. 

Kara's eyes darted from the reporter back to Lena, panic quickly settling in. Without a moment's hesitation or the hesitance to look at whatever had thrown Supergirl for a loop, Lena immediately stepped in front of Kara. Her stance blocked the hero from the view of the reporters as Lena said something about answering more questions at a press conference scheduled for the next day. Kara could barely make out the words as the ringing started in her ears. 

Somehow Lena could tell, and she held out a hand behind her, away from the view of the reporters. Quietly slipping her fingers into the CEO's grasp, Kara gasped as she took a breath, urging herself to calm down, the firm grip on her hand grounding her. 

“That's all, thank you. Goodnight everyone,” Lena said with a kind smile before turning around and pulling Supergirl away from the reporters. 

Supergirl wasn't as responsive as she would have liked, and Lena realised that it would certainly be an impossible task to pull Supergirl anywhere she didn't want to go. Carefully she placed an arm around Kara's shoulders, which eased the hero a little, letting Lena gently lead her away from the crowd quickly enough. 

“Thank you,” Kara's words were soft as she looked down, never letting go of Lena's hand.

Lena had led them in through a side door, and they currently stood in a hallway, probably connected to the kitchen catering the event. In fact, Kara could just make out the delicious smells wafting from swinging doors in the corner of her eye. 

“Of course, Supergirl,” Lena squeezed her hand, looking on with worried eyes. “They have no right to ask you about your soulmate. That could put your soulmate in danger. I'll make sure that reporter-”

“No, please Ms Luthor-”

“Lena is okay,” Lena assured as her eyes worriedly searched the hero's to make sure she was okay. 

“Right, Lena sorry,” Kara gave Lena's hand a squeeze in return. “Please, Lena, there's no need to do anything. I just need to get a new pair of gloves is all.”

Kara looked down at where Lena's hand was still in her own, covering the words. Slowly she let go and pulled back to see them gone. She let out an audible sigh of relief, letting her shoulders sag as the stress melted out of her.

“Forgive me if I'm crossing a line,” Lena started hesitantly, biting her lip for a second before continuing. “But you should write back. Let them know who you are and why they shouldn't write there. They're your soulmate they _have_ to understand. I'm sure whoever is lucky enough to have _Supergirl_ as a soulmate is some sort of angel.”

“Hardly,” Kara let out a dry and cynical laugh. “She's a bit of an asshole if you ask me,” Kara mumbled under her breath. 

Lena caught the profanities, urging herself not to chuckle at the sight of the Superhero swearing, instead opting to arch a questioning eyebrow in response. 

“She's just… I've tried to tell her, not to write where people could see I mean, but she hasn't ever listened. In fact, she deliberately does it sometimes!” Kara groaned as she shut her eyes for a second, the crinkle between her brows forming in her frustration. 

“I'm…” Lena's hand reached for the caped hero's again. “I'm sorry.”

Kara let her fingers delicately be picked up by Lena's as the younger woman turned, placing her back against the wall beside Kara. The pair studied the strange notice board in front of them, not fully focus on anything as Lena fidgeted with Kara's fingers.

“Soulmates suck,” Lena declared darkly.

Kara let out an equally dark and hearty chuckle in response. She couldn't have said it better herself.

A loud rumble erupted from Kara’s belly, making the hero's cheek flush red.

“That, however, I have a remedy for,” Lena promised as she tugged Kara along towards the kitchen.

As the pair walked in Kara saw people still cooking, though the chefs were relaxed cooking in big pots instead of individual serving style. There was a friendly chatter running through the kitchen, and it certainly didn't seem like they were in the middle of a restaurant or catering kitchen with the strange way plates with piles of potstickers were pushed towards them, and the faint singing of the bussers in the back, rhythmically doing their job.

“Enjoy, Ms Luthor,” the chef pushing the food towards them smiled gracefully before heading away and busying themselves with more work. 

Already with her mouth half full of the dumplings, Kara turned to look at Lena wide eyed. “You do know that the event is over they don't need any more food out there, right?”

Lena laughed as she pulled out a barstool and poured herself a glass of scotch, veering towards club soda for when she saw the hero comically shaking her head and jutting her chin towards the soda bottle instead. 

“No, this they do every time. The individual portions that were never served are still good. That combined with the raw ingredients would all go to waste if we just leave it, so if I'm hosting the gala, it all gets cooked and distributed across the city to soup kitchens, homeless shelters and other places that help people going through food hardship. _In fact_ ,” Lena starts with a glint in her eye. “I order as much food as I can get away with so that we end the night with a healthy amount. No harm in a little humanity away from the spotlight. Today we got extra luck since the event ended so soon. More food left to go around.”

Kara beamed, unable to stop the happiness spreading across her face. She had found herself in need of support from similar places before. It had always been a last resort, purely because of the sheer amount of food she would actually need, but the slight glimmer of mischief in Lena's eyes was too much for Kara to hold back her laughter. She had a feeling the other organisers weren't exactly clued in on this operation. 

“You're diabolical, Luthor,” she grinned before stuffing her face with another mouthful.

Lena shrugged as she delicately ran her fingers over the edge of the smooth counter-top that her drink sat on. She knew that Supergirl was only joking, but she didn't feel like they knew each other just that well yet. Lena wouldn't let her guard down, no she would play along. She was, after all, the best at taking the piss out of the Luthor name. Looking up to meet the hero's eyes, she smirked back. 

“All in a day's work for a Luthor,” Lena tapped on the table before getting up. 

Throwing back the rest of the drink, she poured herself another shot before slotting the bottle under her arm for safe keeping. She brought her glass up to meet Supergirl's potsticker in a toast.. 

“To shitty soulmates.” Lena threw downed the liquid in her glass before pushing herself away from the pass. “Stay and enjoy as much as you would like,” she said gracefully. “I'm sure someone with your powers likely needs to eat a lot, and I'd be happy to help the cause. Reparations for Lex, if you will.”

Kara's crinkle returned as she furrowed her eyebrows at that last statement. She tried to quickly swallow down her mouthful, but by the time she managed Lena had already left.

Just then a call came through to Kara's phone. Puling it out and conspiratorially looking around, wondering what Supergirl with a phone looked like to the kitchen staff, Kara brought it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Kara! Are you okay? Did you get out safely?” Lena's worried voice came through the phone. 

“Yes! I'm fine! My sister, the federal agent, the one you met back at my apartment, got me out! I'm safe, Lena,” Kara responded quickly.

“I am so sorry about the way this gala turned out! You'll have to let me make it up to you. Listen, if you're still around, I am outside right now. It appears the police will use any excuse to consider me suspect, but once I am done, I would be glad to drive you home.”

“It's okay really, Lena! But thank you,” Kara replied.

“Right, of course, you probably drove here with Mike!” Lena hurriedly corrected herself. “In that case, please don't let me keep you. Just stay safe and text me when you're home.”

Kara had to hold back a snort. It had been a while since anyone had asked Kara to text them when she got home, especially since most of her friends knew she was an indestructible hero. Well, Alex probably had at some point, but she hardly counted. She would always be the overly paranoid, overly protective sister. Nothing could be done of that short of throwing her into space, and even then Kara was sure that her sister's stubbornness wouldn't let her be trapped in space for long. 

“Of course, Lena!” Kara promised as she finally had her full. “I'll bring Big Belly Burger to lunch tomorrow. Schedule me in. We can actually hang out without assassination attempts and dangerous attacks.”

“Well, I can _hardly_ promise that there won't be assassination attempts, but you are always welcome in my office if you are accompanied by some Big Belly Burger.”

Kara pretended to be offended. “So I only have a free pass if I have Big Belly Burger!? I'm going to bring Burger City next time, if you're not nice to me,” Kara threatened playfully.

“I take it back!” Lena played along as if mortified by the idea of cheating on her favourite burger place. “ _You're_ the one that's always welcome and pleasebringBigBellyBurger! Thank you!”

Kara laughed easily as she promised Lena she would be there with a bag of their favourite food, before she hung up the phone. Looking around, she pocketed her phone. It wasn't easy to store, but Alex had done her best on a protective phone case so that it wasn't constantly getting destroyed in fights. It helped, but even glass screen protectors couldn't help against the superpowered attacks. Kara wondered if she should just invest in a Nokia and leave it at that. 

“Do you need help with the delivery?” Kara asked as she dust herself off, after the ungodly amount of potstickers she had just inhaled. 

The staff were friendly enough, not looking all that surprised as Kara spent the rest of the evening delivering food with them across the city as Supergirl. Soon enough, the cameras caught on. Kara knew Lena didn't want to make a big fuss about it, so she simply flew by the reporters making no comment, knowing that with enough digging Lena would get the credit she deserved without the bother of declaring it to the press. If not, perhaps she could toss a few hints to the other reporters while she was doing her day job.

At the end of the night, Kara found herself touching down on the L-Corp balcony in her superhero get-up.

But the pair went all too quickly between “Who would've believed it. A Luthor and a Super working together?” and “I hope we can work together more in the future,” with beaming smiles and camaraderie to “You know, I thought you were different. You wear that symbol on your chest and everyone thinks you're good. How many times did your cousin put on that high-and-mighty costume and come after Lex? My mother is no saint, but you come in here and accuse her of being the Devil incarnate? How long before you come after me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Thank you again for all your support through comments and Kudos! 💙 Y'all are truly the best!  
> 2\. I've made a sort of book cover, that I've posted in chapter one if you would like to go back and check it out.  
> 3\. Yes, this is one big lighthouse metaphor. 😂 I promise I am 20 and not some lighthouse obsessed child (though being 4 at heart isn't that far from the truth and I do LOVE the ocean). I am sorry about all the cheesy metaphors sometimes in the story but mostly in the chapter titles.  
> For example chapter 1: 'signal in the storm' is self explanatory. chapter 2: 'mismatched flashing patterns' is a reference to how lighthouses close to each other are supposed to have different patterns so that ships don't get confused, but Lena and Kara's mismatched soulmate connection isn't helpful at all. chapter 3: 'a woman's job' is just reference to lighthouse keeping being one of the first government jobs for women that wasn't 'secretary'. It's more literal in the chapter as Lena takes the gala situation into her own hands.


	4. privateering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back and forth soulmate scandals pop up. Supergirl really pisses Lena off, and Lena just wants her friend, Kara.

_“You know, I thought you were different. You wear that symbol on your chest and everyone thinks you're good. How many times did your cousin put on that high-and-mighty costume and come after Lex? My mother is no saint, but you come in here and accuse her of being the Devil incarnate? How long before you come after me?”_

“I know what it's like to be disillusioned by our parents. But I'm a pretty good judge of character. And you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own hero.”

“You can leave the same way you came in.”

Lena, of course, had immediately called Lillian and inserted herself into the situation, and foiled her plans by making the virus inert. 

There was a strange urge to call Kara after it all went down, but then Lena remembered Kara's ‘puff piece’ called "Women of Power and the Mothers Who Moulded Them." Having grown up a Luthor, Lena prided herself as someone who could easily see through false facades, and this was the worst attempt at one she had ever come across. Lena kicked herself for not having expected this. 

Lena mulled over the way Kara had approached her. She had asked for an interview, and Lena was more than willing to give her one. She would never deny her friend the opportunity to further her career, especially not when she was in a position where she could support it. But the reporter had lied. Lena could tell all the questions about Lillian were too on the nose, Kara knew something and was trying to dig deeper for more information. Lena only wondered if the deceit would be worth the story, if this small tiny scoop was worth their friendship. Most of all, Lena wondered if Kara had simply approached her with whatever wild theory of her mother's actions, whether Lena would have aided her in her mission. 

So Lena dismissed Kara, unwilling to have conversations where they tiptoed around what Kara really wanted, and called Lillian instead. 

“There's a reporter sniffing about. She's smart. She knows something about you. What is it?”

“I couldn't possibly imagine.” Lillian stood in her office, domineering at her six-foot height. 

“See, I know you're lying.”

“And how would you know that?”

“Because,” Lena titled her head ever so slightly. “You told me you love me. And we both know that's not true,” Lena turned away from Lillian. “Thanks for stopping by, Mum.” 

Lena easily dismissed Lillian, realising she wasn't going to get much out of the woman. 

It was only when Supergirl touched down and began reciting the ode against The Luthors when Lena realised what had happened. Supergirl, likely through her own investigation and sources, had roped Kara into trying to extract information about Lillian from Lena. She was targeting Lena. Treating Lena as if Lena hadn't proven herself trustworthy at every turn. 

There was also a part of Lena that couldn't believe the words coming out from between Supergirl's lips. Her mother couldn't be head of Cadmus, she already had one murderous family member she didn't need anymore. Lena's response had come from a place of such deep-rooted hurt, but looking back on it, she wouldn't take it back. When would Supergirl begin to doubt her? How long before Lena became the villain in Supergirl's blind quest for justice. Lena wasn’t stupid, it had already started. Supergirl had already used her friend against her. Lena still wasn't sure whether Kara was aware of all of Supergirl's presumptions when she interviewed her under false pretences, but she would give the reporter the benefit of the doubt. It was the hero she couldn't stand.

∙†∙

**Supergirl: The Robin Hood of National City?**

_Did the caped hero redistribute the Luthor fortune without CEO Lena Luthor's knowledge?_

Lena needed a drink after that headline, scrunching the edges of the newspaper a little as she put it under her arm, willing herself to ignore the picture of Supergirl delivering the food after her gala. Of course, Lena does a good thing, and ends up the tyrant Sheriff of Nottingham in the papers.

“It's not so bad. Though they did call me a thief,” Lena jumped as Supergirl landed behind her, looking sheepish as ever. “Sorry I kept helping with the deliveries I suppose they figured they had enough to publish now.”

“They praised you for your so-called thievery,” Lena arched an eyebrow. “Despite the allure of the title, I am the villain who makes too much money through that entire article.” Lena pinched the bridge of her nose as she took a breath. “Bloody hell, sometimes I wonder if I should just let it all go, donate every cent I have and just give up. Yes, I enjoy some wealth I work for, but I _know_ that the impact of my work in R&D and the developments I make will be exponentially more helpful than if I give all my money away only helping the short term. 

“Of course I make money so that I can reinvest it into technology that can improve our standards of living globally. Just imagine the possibilities. We could have sustainable power, food, water and shelter. We could revolutionise transport to include alien portals, so we may best provide aid for those who need it. We could modernise education to to reach more people and to include maths, science, technology from other planets so we can help people help themselves. I have never been someone who saw aliens as a threat, I see them as an opportunity for progress. I want to work together. But no, I'm just evil because I'm wealthy,” Lena let out a defeated sigh with her last words.

“Maybe…” Kara broached the possibility gently, “Kara Danvers could write your side of the story? Interview you. Set the record straight.”

“I hardly need another article on the situation, or another bullshit ‘puff piece’ from Kara. I would much rather they simply ignore my work than call me a villain for doing something good. And _don't_ ,” Kara could hear the bite in Lena's tone as the woman continued. “ _Don't_ , send Kara here again to do your dirty work again, Supergirl,” Lena warned. “I can acknowledge that my mother is far worse than even I realised, but you sent Kara to get information out of me. I trusted her to write the piece she said she was going to write, but there was no article on mothers and daughters or whatever other Supergirl patented bollocks you sent her here with. 

“I would have accepted if she wanted to write a negative piece on me and my family, probably would have even helped her. I am in this for truth and justice as well, but she lied saying her intentions were innocent when really she was digging for a much deeper story. She's my friend, and I don't want the first genuine friendship I've had in a long time to be tainted by whatever mess is between us. She doesn't deserve that.

“And I don't know whether she felt pressured but,” Lena stepped closer to Supergirl. An almost imperceptible, strangely wicked smile flashed across Lena's face for a second as her movement made Supergirl take a hesitant step backwards. “If I find out that you are using your power as a symbol to this city to manipulate her, I promise you, you have never known a Luthor's wrath until you've encountered mine.”

Kara's heart hammered in her chest, and she thanked Rao for her Kryptonian's physiology, giving her way more control at the moment under Lena's captivatingly sharp emerald gaze. “I'm sorry… about the article,” was what Kara settled on saying. “It was unfair.”

Kara wasn't sure whether she was apologising for Robin Hood article or the puff piece she had used to pry information from Lena. 

A sadness hung in the air between them. Lena was angry with Supergirl, that much was clear, but what ate away at Kara's heartstrings was the possibility that Lena was disappointed in Kara. 

“I'll make sure L-Corp puts out a statement to ensure to the public that you weren't stealing,” Lena stated. As she thought about it for a second before she sighed, grumbling the rest under her breath. “Though they’ll probably just think I’m trying to manipulate the situation to take credit, me being the Grinch and all that.”

“Green and fluffy you are not.”

Lena gave her a strange look, and Kara wished flying off and crashing into a building as an excuse to stop the mortification was an acceptable reaction. All Lena could think about was how Kara was undoubtedly rubbing off on Supergirl. 

“Well thank you, Yoda. I made sure not to choose the green suit today,” Lena frowned for a second before waving her fingers ever so slightly. Kara had quickly come to recognise it as a quick dismissal, a change of topics. It almost reminded her of Cat. “On to, well… any other topic. Let's not address the robin-hood-gala situation during this press conference about the Medusa virus, seeing as we need to ease public fear, not turn the focus on redeeming the Luthor name.”

“Talking about the press conference we should get going,” still embarrassed, Kara tried to avoid Lena's gaze as she walked over to the office doors to hold them open for the CEO. “You know I do believe in you, Lena.”

Lena's dismissive, small and grumpy, “hmpf,” in response made Kara's stomach tumble in the worst of ways. 

The whole way down the elevator, Kara bit her lip as she stood awkwardly with her hands on her hips, trying to take a mental inventory of all the food she had eaten that day and whether any of it could have given a Kryptonian minor food poisoning. 

Lena, however, silently stewed the entire way down. There was no logic to the pure frustration that came with working with the hero. One second Supergirl wanted to be Lena's ally, the next she doubted Lena for her Luthor name. Lena knew it was unfair to demand the hero to judge her on her actions and then pretend to launch a weapon that could wipe out every alien on the planet in one fell swoop. If the hero had believed in her in that moment, hadn't pleaded with her or tried to stop her, Lena would have questioned Supergirl's intelligence without a doubt. 

Lena still wished Supergirl had left Kara out of it. Trust was not easily given, and it was quicker taken away. As much as Lena appreciated having a friend in National City, it meant nothing if she was just Supergirl's pawn.

The pair soon enough made their way to the stage set up in front of the L-Corp building. The wind was brutal today, sending a soft hiss through the sound system that stood on the low stage and ended with the microphone attached to the podium. On one side of Lena stood Supergirl with her hands on her hips, and on the other was her public relations manager, nails tapping restlessly on her tablet as she looked up every so often. A somewhat unruly herd of reporters gathered by the stage as cameras flashed and live video feed of the press conference streamed to the world. 

“Thank you all for joining us here. L-Corp is pleased to announce its involvement in neutralising the situation with the help of National City's own Supergirl. Once we were made aware that L-Corp was the sole producer of the exact ingredient needed for synthesis of Cadmus' Medusa weapon, we worked to alter our stock so that if it fell into the wrong hands, it could cause no harm. We applaud the city for successfully detaining Cadmus' leader and look forward to working to help this city again in the future,” Lena finished her very vague speech. Claiming no credit for tricking Lillian and avoiding directly commenting on the fact that it was her mother who was said leader of Cadmus was necessary. Lena hardly needed her stock prices to suffer because of a good deed. “If you'll kindly join me in welcoming Supergirl, she can address the exact threat and shed some more light on the situation.”

Lena clapped politely as she stepped back, giving way for Supergirl to step up to the podium instead. She had avoided inviting questions, and based on the overwhelming reaction from the reporters throwing questions at Lena, she figured she made the correct choice. She hardly wanted to be the one to answer any questions from that pack of wolves.

“I would be happy to take questions and will of course defer to Ms Luthor as needed,” Kara stepped forward towards the mic, clearing her throat awkwardly as it let out a touch of feedback, making Kara jut backwards away from it for a second. “Regarding the threat; it has successfully been neutralised. There is no risk of more of the substance being made, and for the time being we should look ahead to a fair trial. To anyone scared after yesterday's events, I urge you not to give in to fear. We won today and we will win tomorrow as long as we all stick up for each other, alien or human. We are a better, safer world when no one gets left behind. Now I'd be happy to answer your questions.”

That opened the floodgates. As a member of the press when she was out of uniform, Kara had quickly become used to both sides of this dance, but there was an intensity to being Supergirl in front of these people. Kara believed in freedom of information, but understood the nuances of keeping some information secret for the overall safety of the city. Such was the duality of her identity.

“Supergirl! Snapper Carr, CatCo Worldwide Media,” Snapper caught Kara's attention as she nodded over to him.

“Good to see you again, Mr Carr!” Kara grinned, loving the way he mumbled back under his breath in response. She knew her chipper attitude got under his skin and took every opportunity to be as cheery around him as Supergirl as possible. 

Snapper, as expected, simply held back an eye roll and continued on. “What is the ingredient that L-Corp creates, and what is it used for? Would it be possible to shut down all synthetisation of said ingredient and how easy would it be for another company to make?”

“As was previously mentioned, you have our assurances that it will not be a problem going forward.”

Kara could hear Snapper mumbling under his breath about exactly how unhelpful Kara had been. Honestly, with patented technology and secret government agencies involved, Kara wondered whether Snapper really thought he would get an answer. On the other side of the pocket voice recorder, seeing Snapper's frustration was strangely eye-opening. 

“Glad to help!” Kara piped, already pointing to another reporter. 

“One more question, I think you're going to want to respond to this-”

“One question per person, and if we have time, we can circle back-”

Other reporters, likely antsy from the thrill of the life-threatening situation the day before, had begun to shout out their questions without waiting to get picked on. A part of Kara hated the feeling as it sent her right back to the seventh grade where everything was overwhelming and the layered voices were grating to her sensitive hearing. Kara shuffled her hands awkwardly back to her hips as she fought against the urge to fumble with her currently non-existent glasses. 

Kara's breath hitched as Snapper's question cut through the chaos. 

“I'm sure you've already seen the matching images by now, words in very similar, almost identical locations on both your hands and on a certain reporter, Kara Danvers' hands. While there isn't a clear image yet, would you like to get out in front of the situation? Is Kara Danvers your soulmate, Supergirl?”

Kara was frozen as she watched Snapper give her a once over, knowing his claws were in her now. He was a talented reporter, she would give him that. No doubt he had done his research, actually had matching images, and it was probably the reason he had pushed so hard this morning for Kara to be in attendance at this press conference. 

Lena looked over and saw Supergirl's hands tightening on the edge of the podium, bending the trimming ever so slightly. Reaching over, Lena lay a gentle hand on Supergirl's, silently urging her to stop as she met Supergirl's gaze with a concerned look.

“That will be all, thank you!” Lena stepped forward, easing Supergirl away from behind the mic, and stepping in. This was the second time the superhero had gone unresponsive, and Lena fell into the same protective mode she did last time. “We apologise we could only answer one question, but I have just been informed that there is a situation developing, and when duty calls Supergirl will continue to respond. Any other questions can be directed at L-Corps public relations director!”

Lena stepped back, turning to face Supergirl, attempting to shield her as best she could from the camera flashes and the ever-growing chaos of the crowd. Some had heard the question, and it had grown from there. More and more questions about Kryptonians and their soulmates, whether it was the reason Supergirl's suit became more conservative, and the prime question; who was Supergirl's soulmate? Was Kara Danvers Supergirl's soulmate.

“You have to fly away now, Supergirl. I just lied through my teeth for you so head out of the city and claim that there was an emergency out on the water. Chose an L-Corp ship and bring it into dock here, I'll work on crafting the story for the media, and the explanation for my crew on board,” Lena's voice was low, gentle and most of all quiet. She spoke barely above a whisper, as though Supergirl would get spooked with any sudden movements. Kara stared at the strange way Lena's lips seemed to only move when absolutely necessary, likely a defensive move in case the media started lip reading.

Kara nodded wordlessly, letting Lena's calm guide her. 

Bending her knees slightly, Kara wrapped an arm around Lena before pushing off into the sky. Lena's arms instinctively wrapped tightly around the back of Supergirl's neck and her fingers burrowed into Kara's shoulders. Her eyes snapped shut as her entire body tensed at the violence of the wind whipping past them and stinging her eyes. If Lena hated flying, this was torture. She had no control over where she was going. She forced a breath in and out, trying not to choke on the air that that they were cutting through. 

Lena's grip around Kara's neck got so tight that if she wasn't a Kryptonian, she surely would have gone unconscious by now. The momentary distraction had Supergirl veering ever so slightly off course, barely managed to spin Lena around as she crashed into the side of a lighthouse, her back causing the brunt of the damage to the structure. Lena jumped in her arms, nearly completely letting go of Supergirl in fright, and Kara was sure that if she wasn't holding onto Lena, the brunette would have been plummeting towards the water. 

Though they had kept moving through the air away from the lighthouse they had run into, Kara focused on slowing them down. Eventually, as the chaos turned into a soft salt water mist as Supergirl began to lose speed, gently bringing them to a stop. Lena kept her eyes shut tight as she sucked in large breaths, her heart still hammering in her ears where she could feel the blood pumping through her face. The adrenaline was still pulsing through her, and it took the soothing feeling of Supergirl leaning her forehead against Lena's as her hand comfortingly rubbed Lena's back trying to calm her down.

“Sorry, I sometimes forget people aren't used to flying. Take a breath with me,” Kara said before inhaling audibly. 

Lena followed Kara's cue, breathing in deeply though still a little shakily. Soon enough her heart stopped crashing against her ribs, and her body relaxed, her death grip on Supergirl loosening. 

“I _hate_ flying.”

“It's different when you're in control. But look down, we're over the water, we're only hovering, not moving. You're standing on my feet so pretend it's flat ground and let it steady you as you catch your breath.”

Lena took another breath before separating slightly from Supergirl. She let herself glance down to see they were maybe a meter above the water, and out of eyeline from the harbour. The waves were low enough that they barely sent a light mist over their feet. The water wasn't particularly choppy now that Supergirl flying through the area wasn't causing rogue wind and disrupting the water. Lena's foot slipped a little as she tried to find proper purchase, standing on Supergirl's boots in her heels, realising that she was mostly holding on from her arms around Supergirl's neck. 

“You know you were supposed to leave me down there so I could deal with this?” Lena raised an eyebrow as she looked back up to meet Supergirl's eyes, willing herself to hide that she was still panicking ever so slightly.

“Oh!” Kara looked at Lena wide-eyed, dipping the pair slightly into the next wave, their toes barely dragging through the spray of the water below them, in her surprise. “I'm sorry I wasn't thinking! It happened so quickly, they started talking and then Mr Carr asked that question-”

“I'm sorry I panicked like that, I'm not used to getting whisked away against my will.” Lena couldn't do much about the salt in her tone, but at least she was apologising. “What happened?”

“He might have evidence that would put Kara Danvers in danger,” Kara let out quietly. “Mr Carr yelled out a question, mentioning that he had photo evidence of matching markings on both our hands. I've worked- well been interviewed by him before. He is very serious about getting proper verifiable evidence, he must really believe his source is legitimate if he's willing to confront me about it. If he publishes it soon the entire city will believe it as well.” 

“He thinks she's your soulmate?”

Kara simply nodded her head in response. The crinkle between her brow was enough to communicate to Lena how panicked the hero was in the moment. 

“Is she?”

“No,” Kara quickly denied it.

“No, I'm sorry its none of my business forget I asked,” Lena's nod seemed to tell Kara she didn't fully believe her, but wasn't going to press any further. “Well regardless, the moment people theorise who your soulmate is, they're putting a target on Kara and all of Kara's friends and family. That is so ridiculously irresponsible, I just-” Lena shook her head, cutting herself off. “Kara means a great deal to me, I don't care whether she is or is not your soulmate, you have to deny it or she will be in danger.”

“Again, Kara Danvers is not my soulmate.”

“The truth doesn't matter in this moment, Supergirl! if they have evidence, they can twist it, you know that. If she's really not your soulmate, then the truth is already getting twisted. Look, you're a hero. You protect people. Do not let your bloody god complex blind you to the fact that this is not something you can just ignore! Reporters will keep asking, keep digging, and soon enough the truth will not matter. The bad guys don't care about the truth, they'll simply be glad to have Kara as a target.”

“I do not have a _god complex_!”

“Bloody hell, this is not about you.” Lena exclaimed firmly. “You need to make sure there is every doubt in their minds that Kara is _not_ your soulmate!”

“And how do you suggest I do that?” Kara snorted, exasperated. “I know this may come as a surprise, but the very fact that they're willing to put a story over people's safety shows how little Supergirl appealing to them would help this situation.”

The air whipped through Supergirl's hair, flitting it across Lena's face. Lena carefully reached up to tuck the stray strands of hair behind Supergirl's ear before her hand moved to the back of Supergirl's neck, holding the rogue hairs in place. Lena sighed as she realised there was no simple answer. “Can we talk somewhere less watery, perhaps?”

“Right! Right, less watery,” Kara mumbled sheepishly before bracing herself and shooting off back towards the city and landing on the L-Corp balcony. 

As Lena stumbled out of Supergirl's grasp, steadying herself on the rail of her balcony, regaining her breath, she let out a frustrated string of profanities. “How the bloody hell do you expect anyone to listen to you and respect you when you don't have any care for how much I hate when you do that! We literally just talked about it only moments before you did it again!”

“Well, I couldn't exactly fly over here slowly! Imagine that image all over the news!” Kara furrowed her eyebrows as Lena's annoyance washed over her. She stepped back as she crossed her arms, glaring out over the city. 

“You could have warned me!” Lena shot back as she slid her balcony door open, stumbling as she took off her heels and stepped into her office, blessing the steady ground beneath her. 

Kara let out a huff of breath at that statement, “It's easier to just get it over and done with without warning.”

“Well, it had better never happen again,” Lena almost growled at Kara. “Now, like I said before, fly away Supergirl, I'll deal with this Kara Danvers mess,” Lena said dismissing the hero as she took a seat in her chair and swivelled around to turn back and face her computer. She was already typing, though she could see the hero frowning at her from the reflection in her monitor. 

Kara let out a breath as she took a hesitant step forward as if to confront Lena, with a “ _what are you going to do?”_ before thinking twice about it and pushing off the balcony, jetting out of view in a second. She figured she would find out soon enough as Kara, anyway.

Kara veered off towards the DEO, enjoying the way she broke through the air, glad for the momentary freedom, the rush of life through her veins that flying brought her. By the time she got to the DEO, she was relieved to see Alex already waiting for her. 

“Any news on the images? Snapper doesn't mess around. In fact, I think I should have a talk with him as Kara,” Kara said, knowing that Alex had likely already pinned down the problem while she had flown off with Lena. 

“No, stand down on that front. I think we should send some of my agents to spook him, but also they can throw in hints about the dangers to your safety he may be ignoring if he pursues this story.” Alex spoke as she fell into step beside Supergirl.

“Don't do that, he's already expressed to me he wants to shine a light on Supergirl's connection to the government, you'd just be putting him on a scent and we don't need him to inadvertently find the DEO.”

“Okay, we'll find an alternative. Maybe you should appeal to his humanity as Kara. But you're a terrible liar and he may just get more interested in the scoop, so just be careful alright?" Alex warned Kara. "In the meantime, Brainy is still trying to track down the images that Snapper claimed to have. The ones that were released were blurry, there's no way he would be willing to put an article to press if he didn't have images that matched up, so we're willing to bet someone showed him proof to pique his interest and he's attempting to verify it now. Snapper's computer and the CatCo servers were easy enough, but his source is harder to track. We will not rest until we get our hands on the source and make sure no one can use your soul marks against you.”

“Hey, hey!” Kara turned to Alex, stopping them halfway to the command centre. “Alex, no one is going to hurt you like that again. I promise.”

“You can't promise something like that. And its not me I'm worried about! What if they take mum next time? Where does it end? Kara, I know that most of the people in your life are very capable, but I-” Alex's voice was low as she looked around, making sure no one was paying attention to them. “I am and always considered myself capable. And I-”

“Oh Alex,” Kara sighed, her heart breaking at the sight of her sister swallowing, trying to rein her emotion in. Kara grabbed Alex's hand, pulling her into the closet hallway, checking to make sure no one was around before pulling Alex into the tightest hug she thought Alex could handle. Kara stroked Alex's back, just like Eliza used to when they were children, as eventually Alex's hands scrunched up in Kara's cape and silent tears streamed down her face. 

“I'm scared that this is the life I would be bringing Kelly into,” Alex let out as she eventually separated from Kara, giving her a small grateful smile. 

“I wish I had an answer for you, a solution to it all, but all I know is you help people every day, and I will be here to help keep Kelly safe. She is my family too now, and I would do anything to protect you, and her, and Eliza, and even Nia and Brainy and all the rest. Just like I know you would do for me.”

∙†∙

Meanwhile, Lena looked up from her tablet as the hero left, a small forlorn feeling washing over her, rolling her shoulders and urging herself to relax. 

She spent the next 20 minutes hacking into CatCo's servers, looking for the images that were endangering Kara. She made sure to cover her tracks, but it would be a cold day in hell before someone from a magazine's IT department could outsmart a Luthor. Surely they were all bow-ties, button downs and ‘have you tried to restart your computer?’. She had pretty much found the images in the first five minutes, using the rest of her time to casually read over all the information they were keeping on Lex and L-Corp. Not that she was planning to do anything with whatever she found, but it certainly was interesting, and multitasking helped her think through what she was supposed to do with the images now that she had found them. 

If she deleted them from the server, there was no guarantee that Snapper didn't have a hard copy or external drive, nor that his source couldn't just send it again. Plus, Snapper would immediately know something was wrong and that may just make him dig deeper. 

Lena normally enjoyed the problem-solving process, the time before she had a solution. She enjoyed long maths equations and hours pouring over obscure papers, and the nerd in her really enjoyed the thrill of a lab with dangerous chemicals and a curious mind. But she couldn't exactly dip Snapper in a solution and then test his pH level to figure out her answer to this problem. She couldn't study him under a microscope or even blow him up a little for fun, which always helped up her mood when she was stuck to keep going. Of course, normally she was blowing up tech that was being particularly difficult, and not for any scientific purpose apart from the endorphins that usually accompanied the explosion and helped Lena de-stress and refocus.

Lena settled on stewing over all the problems before her. She sat there mindlessly working, half still scrolling through the CatCo database. They definitely had nothing on her, Lena knew more about the skeletons in Lex's closet than anyone else, though she didn't quite expect Lillian's. 

Deciding to take a break, Lena made herself a cup of tea and settled into her spot on the couch as she began clicking the pieces on her chess board into place. Gently setting the last piece into its starting position, Lena considered the board before her. She loved the game, and she hadn't done this in a while, but Lena picked up the first piece and moved it. She ran a couple of problems before her cup of tea was empty. The tea leaves scattered, settling gently on the bottom of the cup. Lena wondered what secrets they would hold if she knew how to read futures in their patterns. 

Looking back at the board, Lena got lost in the longing for a partner, someone to challenge her. Deciding to take the step up from tea, Lena poured herself some scotch, taking a couple of sips as she reset the board, before shutting her eyes tight for a second. 

Once they fluttered open, she could almost see Lex in front of her. Unlike Lionel, the ghost of Lex didn't talk much, his voice was present enough in her head, she hardly needed her projection of him to speak to her as well. No, the ghost of Lex was normally who she played chess against. It was almost satisfying to run through a game, trying to imagine what Lex's next move would be. What would he be thinking? 

Lena had quickly learnt that Lex's game was the most intriguing part of her relationship with him. Understanding why he made the decisions he made, somehow mapping the brain of Lex, was how Lena maintained control. No matter how much he'd tugged her around as a child, and she'd happily followed along, a lost puppy, he didn't control her when they were in front of the board. And he was always proud of her for winning. Sometimes Lena ached to call Lex, to play against him once again instead of relying on her pitiful memory of him, but then Lena would snap out of it, realising her memory was the best version of him she'd ever get. 

Lena had spent so long trying to play Lex's game, learn his moves, try to see him through the story he told on the board that she had soon realised it was more than a game. The key to Lex was to expect everything, and the more she played against herself trying to emulate him, the more she learnt. The more she won against him. Lena was sure by now, if she wanted to be Lex, both on the board and off, she would have played the part better than he did.

Whenever Lena had a particularly difficult situation, Lena played chess against the library of Lex that she had built in her mind. She imagined what his reaction would be, and she reframed the situation to find the better solution. All ghost Lex was telling Lena was to shoot Snapper between the eyes, and even Lena knew those thoughts weren't stemming from the part of Lex she kept in her heart. Lex would never do the dirty work himself, let alone make the trail back to him that simple. Lex also enjoyed many forms of revenge, most of which didn't involve murder. Lena was sure that particular fact would surprise the public, but then again, no one could quite understand the games Luthors enjoyed playing. Lex enjoyed the long con. Lex was the type of person who picked Snapper apart from afar, bit by bit, and Snapper wouldn't have any clue it was happening. One day Snapper would wake up with everything he ever wanted, longing for the one thing he really needed, that he would never get because Lex enjoyed breaking people more than he enjoyed killing them. Lex always did like playing the party of the devil, and Lena couldn't argue that the suits didn't flatter the Luthors.

Tipping back the glass to find it empty, Lena finally realised how far down the rabbit hole she'd gone. There was something so animalistic about her protection instincts that Lena had let the simple thought of Lex drown her in the night. Blinking as she stood, Lena found herself in the early parts of the morning, the light only beginning to stream through the floor to ceiling windows before her. She had lost the night to the dark thoughts of Lex, and this time it had garnered her nothing useful. 

The sound of her office phone ringing snapped Lena out of her stalemate.

“Jess?” Lena called out, wondering why her assistant wasn't picking up the call, before she realised just how early in the morning it was. Lena walked up to the phone and picked it up, unsure about the protocols now that her assistant wasn't there to vet the caller beforehand. “L-Corp, Lena Luthor's office, how can I help you?”

“ _Why aren't you answering your phone?_ ” Sam's worried voice came through the receiver.

“I'm sorry I don't exactly want to have this conversation,” Lena laughed darkly as she settled for holding the phone between her shoulder and ear, while she trailed the long chord over to her drinks table. She knew what was coming and would surely need more scotch for this. She stopped as she reached for the glasses, looking back at where the chessboard sat alone. She blinked, and Lex remained gone, and Lena was grateful for small victories.

“ _Lena-_ ” Sam started.

“Please, not today, Sam. I have a situation on my hands.”

Sam sighed. “ _I wouldn't do that to you today. It's not why I'm calling._ ”

“Thank you.”

“ _Are you still coming to Metropolis?_ ”

“The plane is ready,” Lena responded, but it wasn't much of an answer to her question. 

“ _Have you called him?_ ”

“He hasn't called me yet, but he will.”

“ _Well, from this part of your family at least; happy birthday, Luthor. I hope we see you tonight. If you stay in Metropolis for the night, we can talk about the other thing properly tomorrow._ ”

“I don't know if I'm coming, Sam.”

“ _She really wants to see you._ ”

“I don't want to let her down, you know that Sam.”

“ _I know that._ ”

“Then you can understand why.”

“ _I'll set a place at dinner for you,_ ” Sam's tone was final. “ _I hope we'll see you tonight._ ”

Lena mumbled her goodbyes before cutting the call. She held the phone in her hands for a second, gently chewing on the inside of her lip before her fingers started moving of their own accord. Lena dialled another number into the phone before holding it to her ear again and pouring herself some scotch.

“Hello?” Kara sounded confused as she picked up the phone. Lena figured it was early, but at least it didn't sound like she had woken the reporter out of her sleep. 

Lena needed company, and the ghosts of Lex and Lionel clearly weren't strong to protect Lena from Sam.

“Kara! I apologise, this is my office number I usually call you from my personal mobile. Listen, if you have some time, I would really appreciate if you could swing by. I don't know if Supergirl has already talked to you-”

“Supergirl told me! I'm on my way! I'm just outside your office actually, I have something to show you.”

“I have something to show you too. Listen, I may have accessed CatCo's servers, and I found the images Mr Carr has. Most of my ideas at the moment may be questionable; they mostly revolve around setting Lex loose on Mr Carr or using Mr Carr as target practice, and I assure you I don't need practice after all Lionel Luthor taught me my way around a gun. Seeing as neither of them are good ideas and seeing as this concerns you, I thought you might come and talk some sense into me and maybe we could work this out?”

“Of course Lena, I'm always here to be your sounding board, but I don't think those images are our biggest problem anymore. I'm just at the building I'll be able to explain better when I get up to your office.” 

“Take my elevator up. I'm letting security know it'll just be a moment,” Lena said as she buzzed down to security.

“The call will probably drop on the elevator.”

“Okay, see you in a moment.”

Lena set the phone down and was barely through pouring Kara a glass of water when she heard the door opening.

“Have you seen this?” Lena turned to see Kara stepping through the door of Lena's office, holding up a newspaper as she made her way over to the desk. Kara placed it down in front of Lena, pointing to the picture that took up nearly half the page just under the headline. 

If Kara listened in, she would hear the way Lena's heart picked up the moment her eyes locked onto the image. Printed on the front page of The Daily Planet in all its glory was a picture clearly taken from a helicopter the day before. Lena stood ever so slightly on her tiptoes on Supergirl's feet. Their foreheads rested lightly against each other's and their eyes were fluttering closed. One of Lena's hands gently tucked Supergirl's hair behind her ear, while her other arm held onto the hero for dear life, and Supergirl had her hands gently on Lena's waist. Below them, the crashing waves created a spellbinding mist that stunningly scattered the surrounding light.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, ‘wow’! They sure moved on from trying to pin this on me _super_ quick! Ignore that pun! And there are enough people who are ignorant and bigoted and want to hurt you for the most ridiculous reasons, and then the press goes and puts a target on you! You did nothing to deserve this how dare they take part in spreading this-”

“Kara, _Kara_!” Lena interrupted Kara's long and worried stream of consciousness as she stepped forward and rested a gentle and comforting hand on Kara's arm. “It's okay, this is better than the alternative. Let them think what they want to think.”

“You could be in danger! If people start to believe that you are Supergirl's soulmate, then people who hate the Luthors _and_ people who hate Supergirl will want to hurt you! That combination is a very concerning percent of the population!”

“Kara, darling, it's okay. I have an incredible security team, and I am used to attempts on my life. Now, recently I can't seem to stand Supergirl, but the media doesn't need to know that! If they want to focus their attention on me, it's better than putting you in danger.”

“You can't stand Supergirl?” Kara's brow was already furrowing in that all too familiar crinkle, willing herself to just skip over how Lena called her darling.

“To make sure that they don't focus back on you, why don't you post something on your social media? Matching words on your skin. You and Mike, I mean, not you and Supergirl. Now that would be counterproductive and frankly a little ridiculous.” Lena laughed as she pulled away from Kara to rummage through the somewhat organised mess on her table, looking for a pen. 

“Mon- Mike and I aren't soulmates,” Kara bit her lip as she played with her fingers now that Lena had stepped away.

“Oh,” Lena looked back over her shoulder apologetically. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume.”

“No, it's fine. You didn't know.”

“Do you know who your soulmate is?”

“No.” Kara's voice was quieter now, and Lena immediately rushed to keep the conversation moving forward rather than keep Kara in that space for a second longer. 

“No worries, well if we can't prove that Supergirl is not your soulmate, then we need to make sure the focus is not on you, and honestly The Planet has made that easy for us.”

“You're planning on leaning into this? Pretend Supergirl is your soulmate to keep me out of the spotlight?”

“Only until I have another solution,” Lena assured as she walked over to her Surface Studio and flipped it over so Kara could see the screen. “I'll let you in on a little secret, off the record.”

“Of course,” Kara walked forward intrigued as Lena began typing on the keyboard beside her.

“I've been researching the soulmate bond. There are parts of it that intrigue me. I have a subject who doesn't have a soulmate which could be the key to understanding how and why people do have soulmates-”

“They probably do have a soulmate, they just have to wait a little longer. Unless you mean their soulmate has passed away, but in that case they still have a soulmate. You know on Kr- In my religion, we believe your time in the mortal world is insignificant. In the heavens, during forever, is when your souls will truly be together at peace. After all, when you're in the mortal world no amount of time will ever feel like enough time-”

“Kara,” Lena attempted to pull Kara out of her rant without sounding too rude, letting her tone remain light and giving Kara the opportunity to keep talking if she liked. 

But Kara did stop as her focus snapped to Lena. “Sorry,” Kara said, the tips of her ears heating up a little as they turned pink. 

“It's alright. All I meant is that I am fairly sure my subject is an anomaly. Of course there's no proof yet, but that's part of the process and there has to be a scientific explanation for it. All my other subjects, even ones who have been waiting an unusually long time, still _believe_ they soulmates. Regardless, all I'm saying is I have other goals, but eventually with enough research I could hide Supergirl's soulmate marks from the world. No need for gloves or image inducers that could be ripped off the body or broken. No, I reckon I could alter the behaviour of the soulmate marks-”

“You would separate her from her soulmate?”

“No,” Lena assured, shaking her head. “I would only change their behaviour, not the soulmate connection itself, in Supergirl's case. So they'd only show up when you want them to show up, on will, on command. So Supergirl would never have to worry about disguising herself or any harm coming from the reality of her having a soulmate.”

“What inspired this research? Lots of incredible minds have tried to make sense of soulmates and I hate to tell you this, but most of them went mad.”

“I promised a friend… a subject, that I would find out how to separate them from their soulmate. I know nothing about the specifics of the situation, but she has always maintained that if the bond could disappear, she would be better off.”

“How can someone not love their soulmate?”

“Oh Kara,” Lena spoke softly as her attention shifted from the screen and her gaze landed softly on the blonde. “This world is made up of people who can do good and can do bad. Sometimes you love someone even if they have done so much bad that that's all they are. I think if she says she'd rather be away from him and is strong enough to fight the soulmate bond for the sake of protecting her kid from him, well, its people like her that I want to serve and protect. I think she does love him, and that's part of the problem. Where's the free will? How do people make sure they are safe in relationships like that?”

“You're,” Kara swallowed lightly as she met Lena's eyes. “You're right. I didn't even think about that.”

Lena smiled softly. “Some day I am going to help a lot of people, I just need to figure it out first.”

“I believe in you, Lena Luthor,” Kara nodded firmly.

It took all of Lena's willpower to reduce the ridiculous beam that threatened to cover her face to what she could only hope was a simple, grateful and humbled smile. It tumbled Kara's heart as well. Kara pulled Lena into a long hug that Lena feared Kara could surely feel beating against her ribcage and pounding against Kara's chest as the reporter held her closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question! Who should start realising they have feelings first, Kara or Lena? I'm really heavily leaning on like a pseudo enimies to lovers thing with Lena and Supergirl, with a side of Lena not realising she's falling for Kara while she tries to solve the soulmate puzzle for Sam. So maybe Kara falls and is sad because she thinks Lena loves Sam all while Lena doesn't realise she's falling for Kara?  
> ALSO  
> Thank you all so much for your comments and Kudos and really for reading the story!  
> It's meant such a great deal 💙 I appreciate y'all so much  
> I haven't written in a really long time, so I'm still figuring out what works and what doesn't, hopefully I can keep improving.  
> and welp, I'm sorry this chapter is so long. 8000 words oof 😅


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